Mommee Marybeth

Where I am posting...

2011-08-09T23:46:00.002-04:00

Sorry I have not had a chance to blog here about life on the farm, soon, possibly after a busy fall of working and harvesting on the farm and working at some garlic festivals, after getting a schedule down with homeschooling both boys while entertaining a 17 month old, after a busy photography season full of mini sessions, 2 weddings and other sessions...lol, so yes, the plate is full. In the mean time I am doing a photo a day project with Silas, b/c I just do not have enough on my plate :)
Check it out :)

Life on the Farm

2011-07-23T10:26:00.006-04:00

I just realized I have not blogged since our move to the farm almost five months ago...I will share more words later on how wonderful life has been for us here, there is no doubt in my mind that we made the best decision... for now I will just share photos....

To see many more go here!

I'm Back! Well, kinda....

2011-02-10T14:21:00.008-05:00

So I completely abandoned my blog, life with three boys just was not allowing me enough time to get on here! Well, I think last I discussed how our family was going to try RV life on the road full time...well, small change of plans, hopefully next winter we will be doing that, our new adventure will be life on a farm!

A few months ago we found a classified ad looking for a family to live rent free on an 80 acre organic garlic farm! We decided this was kind of perfect for our family and responded to the ad. After some phone conversations, some lunches and emails we decided this was an amazing opportunity for us and we will be moving in 3 weeks!!

So it will be quite the change for us suburbanites, but we are all really looking forward to giving this a try. We will be able to save enough money to hopefully travel next winter while we are not needed on the farm.

We will be moving a little over an hour from where we live now, and my husband will still be working at Whole Foods, just cutting back his hours a bit. I will come back to work with old clients and hope to pick up some new clients in our new town. (The farm will be an amazing location for photos! Woods, ponds, orchards, wildflowers etc, etc!)
The boys and I will also work on the farm as much as we are needed. Max and Sam are on egg duty of collecting the eggs a couple times a day!

Anyways, I plan to blog about our new adventures here on the farm! I do not look forward to packing up and moving though. I have such mixed emotions, although we will only be an hour away, I will be so far from great friends and family :(
I am so happy that my boys are really excited about it! I love the idea of them growing up there!

[the farm house which will be our new home]

[our new feathered friends]

[newly rebuilt barn]

So, I hope to get back into blogging, especially so friends and family can hear about our new life as farmers! It's so hard to not sing the Green Acres theme song when thinking about it all :) But really, this is so exciting for all of us, owning a farm has always been a pipe dream we knew we could never financially work out, so this is the next best thing.

The land owner/farmer and his wife live on the property a few hundred feet from our home, and there is also a single woman who was a montessori teacher/musician (who really hit it off with our kids) and another wonderful older couple who live on the property. It is like a little community :)

Wordless Wednesday

2010-07-14T08:42:00.001-04:00

52 weeks of me and my children #6

2010-07-11T21:46:00.011-04:00

Here is week #1, #2, #2.5 , #3, #4and #5.

Silas has discovered two things this week, his tongue and the ability to stick it out, well as far as he can because he is tongue tied, and he also discovered his reflection. He is just giddy over both of these things :)

And this would be my I just scrubbed a toilet look...btw, do boys pee with their eyes shut?) Since the haircut I have to rock a headband during the day around the house, the hair in my eyes can slowly drive me mad. I also found hair in my eyes during a photo session is not so cool either.

But Silas was being his sweet self and I had to grab the camera. I combed his hair up after his bath and it stayed like this all day!

SO...I have not been in the blogging mood, much like tang-soo-do, clarinet, tai-chi and knitting, it will probably be yet another thing I will not stick with :) I will at least do this 52 week project, but I am realizing it's not easy with my older two boys! They are hard to get to sneal a picture with! Silas is an easy target.

I also think it is because I have been so busy, playing outside mostly with my kiddos. Hanging out at the playground, new free sprinkler parks, playing in the woods etc...and I have worked a lot these last few weeks and I am waaay behind on editing photo sessions...this is causing me some stress...anyway I am sure when the cooler weather comes I will be blogging more..it just fell back on my list of priorities.
I think most people tend to be on the computer less in the summer months...

Wordless Wednesday...ok, it was supposed to be wordless....

2010-07-07T16:10:00.009-04:00

Ok, not so wordless....My husband is the real gardener, I help him water :) But when he read an article about planting veggies right out of a bag of soil, I was a bit leary...mostly b/c of how unsightly I thought it would be...

But it is working beautifully and you can barely see the plastic bag! We are getting a lot of cucumbers and I love how they grow up my porch :)

We get little to no sun in our back yard so my husband removed shrubs from the small front yard (I do not like shrubs!) and turned it into our veggie garden!

There are a ton of cherry and grape tomatoes growing and teasing us by s-l-o-w-l-y turning ripe for us to eat!

Here is a photo from last month. It is funny b/c we live on a street where every house is kinda on the perfect side...perfectly edged and weedless lawns (chemicals!), perfectly trimmed hedges and shrubs, weeded flower plots, etc, and then there is our house :) We like the motto of "eat your yard", some urban, ok, suburban gardening. We like "weeds" and prefer to call them by their real names! Most weeds are wild edibles that we eat!

It's nice though b/c most neighbors complimented us on how it looks nice :) Even there there is sooo much that needs to be to the outside of the house and yard....don;t even get me started....oh my, and then there are the inside projects...

52 weeks of me and my children #5

2010-07-03T22:41:00.004-04:00

Here is week #1, #2, #2.5 , #3 and #4....

Silent Saturday

2010-07-03T18:17:00.003-04:00

I have lost my blogging-mojo....just not enough time or motivation these days...

Wordless Wednesday

2010-06-30T11:14:00.003-04:00

A sunset walk in the woods...

52 weeks of me and my children #4

2010-06-27T09:17:00.006-04:00

My youngest nephew got married on Friday! This was a photo my husband took before the wedding. I was their wedding photographer, and just before it began I traded my husband my camera for the baby so I could nurse him. Max is not in the picture b/c he had a meltdown and a sudden case of shyness, which is rare for him. He was seriously hiding behind a giant planter crying that he did not want to go in. After some bribery and allowing him to bring the gameboy into the ceremony, he was ok. But my husband had to get up and leave the sanctuary 3 minutes after it started b/c Sam then had a meltdown over something and the baby started crying...

Here is week #1, #2, #2.5 and #3....

It's been a busy busy week! Other than editing photos, I have had hardly any computer time...but this is a good thing. Although I have not blogged, I am enjoying being on here less and less and prefer to spend time in the yard, garden, at the pool, park, etc, etc.... :)

52 weeks of me and my children #3

2010-06-23T09:20:00.003-04:00

Here is week #1, #2 and #2.5...

so I was hoping to post these each Sunday, I am behind already on week 3... this is the only new image of me and one of the kids, Sam (4) took it yesterday :) then he took 50 pictures of the cat and his cantaloupe....

Truthful Tuesdays

2010-06-22T10:05:00.010-04:00

I like this idea :)
I am borrowing it from Little Acorn Learning's Blog.

"I challenge you to take one day a week to get real and let the perfectionism go. A photo - a confession - a truth... the not-so-perfect of your life."

"Truthful Tuesdays: a new weekly challenge. One that reflects the realness and truth of the lives we live. There are so many beautiful and inspirational blogs out there reflecting all of our beautiful moments... But there are other moments too. The moments we are all less likely to take photos of. The baby that just won't stop screaming... the messy house ... the dishes overflowing... the way too many to-do's on our lists.... the fight with our spouse... and much bigger truths that we all deal with. Just one day a week I ask you to share a Truth... a photo - a confession - ... the not-so-perfect of your life."

So here goes...

My refrigerator is my dirty secret of the week. Hey, I am starting off small here...So maybe you cannot tell from this photo, but it really, really, really needs scrubbed down, inside and out.

I can blame my mom, who used to scrub hers twice a week with bleach...it kinda made me never want to clean mine...and boy oh boy does it need it. I use the excuse that we need to get a new fridge, but I have been using that excuse for far too long. I use that excuse for my whole kitchen, we have been planning to remodel it for years...

Currently it is packed full of veggies and I am not a fan of side-by-side doors, there is never enough room...and then my husband brought home a case of Synergy Kombucha to clog it up even more...

I shared my lovely mess before...

Summer solstice, green smoothies, three months and baltic amber...

2010-06-21T11:30:00.017-04:00

lol....too much for one post? nah!

Summer Solstice Blessings! It is the 1st day of Summer! We started our summer off with a morning dance party in the living room, because my boys love to dance, and what better way to start the day!

Then we had green smoothies for breakfast... (strawberry, banana, spinach, spirulina, bee pollen)

And now I am preparing a big salad of lettuce from our garden for lunch! I think I will add strawberries and walnuts and home made strawberry vinaigrette! I have a flat of strawberries that needs to be used asap!

I am so happy my kids love salads! And they really devour it if I make it with a sweet dressing and add some fruit :)

Also, my sweet baby Silas is three months old! Weighing in at 16lb and 13oz! Technically he was 12 weeks last Tuesday and was born on March 23rd...

He is such a happy baby, smiling all day long. He sleeps all night, most of the time, but since we co-sleep if he does wake up I just roll over and nurse and we both fall back asleep. He likes riding in the car, loves to be worn in a sling or carrier, but also likes the stroller when I am not able to carry him.

He is already rolling from belly to back and back to belly. He has a super strong neck and enjoys his tummy time! Sadly though, we can no longer just plop him on the couch or bed for fear of him rolling away. I already gave our swing and bouncy away (he was no longer a fan and it was nice to rid ourselves of them) so when I am not carrying him he is on the floor playing under his gym thing.

I am going to post separately about our adventures in EC'ing, but I am really learning how simple it is to follow his cues and have been doing pretty good at catching his pee in the potty! His brothers think it is hilarious and my husband is getting good at following his cues too!

A couple of days ago I received his baltic amber teething necklace from here! They were offering 50% off to first time baltic amber buyers. I think they are so cute!

"Baltic amber is a natural resin, not a gem or stone. Its key ingredient, succinic acid, enables the amber to warm to the body’s natural temperature whereupon it releases it healing and pain relieving oils. Easily absorbed into the skin, the amber then continues its passage into the blood stream where it provides the child’s own immune system and provides calm and peace."

You can learn more about them here!

We will be spending our day playing in the little pool in the yard and running through the sprinkler. I am going to make a light dinner of sauteed spinach, zucchini and mushrooms with some marinated tofu. And later we will be taking a barefoot, moonlit walk on one of our favorite trails in the woods!

A Final Homecoming...

2010-06-20T20:23:00.008-04:00

Today I took part in the final homecoming of a fallen soldier. Robert Fike was killed 10 days ago in Afghanistan by a suicide bomber and today our small community came together and lined the streets, flags in hand, to welcome him home.

Although I did not know this man, or his family, I still wanted to show my respects and give my thanks. Robert had a 12 year old daughter, I am sure this Father's Day will forever be etched into her memory. I wanted her to see the support and love as she rode in the line of cars.

I took this photo from where I stood up on the hill...and I must say being a "photographer" at such an emotional time was not easy. I only took one photo, out of respect for the men and woman surrounding me, who stood crying. And although I did not know him, I could not hold back my tears.

Today I'd like to remember those Father's who are serving our country and remember their children and wives who await their safe return.

We Love you Daddy!

2010-06-20T10:03:00.027-04:00

My husband and our boys.

(My Dad who died after a hard battle with Cancer 10 years ago, this was a few months before he passed)

From 2000 to 2003, Father's Day was really hard for me, all I could think about was the death and absence of my father...I could only replay that moment in the hospital where we held his hands and told him it was ok to go...and then he did...

A few years after his death, my 1st son was born and Father's Day brought on a whole new meaning. I began remembering the good times when my Dad was alive...not focusing on his pain and death and I got to celebrate my husband and the wonderful Father he was and is....

So today, rather than writing in words all the reasons my husband is so wonderful, I will just share photos that really touch my heart. He is truly amazing and I am ever grateful for my babies Daddy :)

We have club houses!

2010-06-19T12:34:00.011-04:00

Ok, more memories of my childhood! My family never bought new appliances, but we had neighbor's that did! And when they would unload them we always got to take the big boxes to play with. With a good imagination these boxes were houses, ships, buses, planes, puppet stages, or in my case, a TV that we would get in and act out shows :) My brother and I would play in here for hours and days until they were destroyed and we had to toss them.

Well we had a fun coincidence this morning, while I was unloading the washer in the basement to hang out the cloth diapers, my son Max was nosing around the basement and wanted to gather scraps to build a playhouse. I was sad to tell him it was not going to work and maybe we could get out the play parachute and old sheets and make a playhouse or teepee in the yard. This was not a good idea according to him. So then I said maybe we will come across a giant box to play in and his was response was an "uh-huh, sure mom...."

Well just a few hours later when I came home from the farmers market my neighbors were getting a delivery of new furniture, and there in the street were two HUGE boxes! The power of positive thought in action!

They are big enough for them each to have their own clubhouses! So I ran up my steps and asked my husband to help me get them. The delivery guy was more than happy to not have to break them down to put into his truck. And my neighbors thought it was so wonderful for us to let the kids play with them. We chatted about how her girls, now grown, LOVED boxes :)

First I had to tape the flaps open to make them bigger and then I cut out working doors and windows. I let the boys decide where and what shapes the windows and doors should be. They are out there now with markers decorating them and we are going to get out the paints and paint them too! Max created these security access cards (id cards he had made at a Chuck E. Cheese party :) that he passed out to those who are allowed into his secret clubhouse.

I just love seeing their faces light up as their imaginations spark with new ideas! Between these and the pool and slip-n-slide, we should keep pretty occupied on this hot Saturday!

Wishing you all a creative and fun weekend!

New fun activity with my kids!

2010-06-19T00:47:00.003-04:00

Please tell me you remember this show! Well today something made me think about it so I had to youtube it and show a few clips to my kids. And then my 6 yo son says, "oh, is that what Wipeout was like in the olden days!?" Very funny kid.

Well, this turned into hours of fun in our back yard creating obstacle courses! My kids were pretty creative setting them up, and my husband and I both did all of the courses :) They did not want to stop and talked about it while I tucked them in.

I forgot how much fun I had doing this as a kid! My brother and I would run the courses and time each other....wow, we spent hours making them. When he was busy I would make courses for my collie to do!

I do not have any photos because this was just one of those times where I had to leave the camera in the house. I have been making an effort to really live in the moment with my kids and not view it through a lens.

But I think Max used the Flip to tape his Dad and I doing the course, I will post that later...

Crayfish, Salamanders and Dragonflies, OH MY!

2010-06-18T23:37:00.013-04:00

Today, after going to the grocery store for food for our picnic in the park, and after going in the $ store for cat food, [b/c I managed to forget it in the grocery store...something to do with a baby flipping out in the sling and Max running the cart into the back of my leg and Sam having to go pee twice in 15 minutes (he never went the 1st time, according to his brother who went in with him, he played in the sink instead) I managed to forget catfood]... and after the cartwheel in yet another store incident, see last post... we went to the park and I let it all go and regressed to a seven year old and taught my children the joy of wading in the "crick" (thats how we yinzers in Pittsburgh call it) aka, stream or creek. We have done this quite a few times in this same creek, but today was just different for some reason...

It took me back to childhood when we would play in the woods and creek by my grandparents house ALL DAY!

I taught them how to s-l-o-w-l-y turn over the large rocks and to look for crayfish and salamanders.

We also watched some gorgeous green and blue luminescent dragonflies all around us. We also learned a bit about the bird-n-the-bees when they kept mating and an older kid kept pointing out how they were "doin-it"....thanks kid.... but I must say, it was quite interesting to me and my mom-in-law too, we found ourselves being quite the voyers into their private moment :) and if that was not bad enough I had to take pictures of it...

(they almost form a heart when her tail end goes over his head and his tail end...ok, yeah, you get the picture :)

My mother in law met us at the park and tended to the baby so I could really spend some time with my older boys.

The boys got to see their first crayfish, which Max insisted were scorpions, and we also spotted salamanders, watched water spiders and their cool shadows, chased after little minnows and rescued a few caterpillars stranded on the rocks...

It was also quite refreshing to submerge my toesies in the cold waters!

After playing in the creek we had our picnic lunch of watermelon, nectarines and BING cherries! The boys also played in the water fountain to cool off more.

Cartwheels! In the store?

2010-06-18T23:28:00.003-04:00

Ok, I was that kid, the one doing cartwheels down the isles of the department or grocery store. My mom was the mother who yelled at me to "stop it! Your going to hurt someone!"

So today, my boys were attempting cartwheels down the isles, just as I was about to correct them...ok, I was gonna freaking yell, I was out of patience at this point, the end of the shopping trip to 3 stores...an elderly man came up the isle chuckling, "Ahh to have that energy again! I think kids should be kids and think it is wonderful you did not yell at those fine boys!" I had to stop and smile, and remember the joy of doing cartwheels anywhere, anytime. I was a bit obsessed with them when I finally perfected them :)

Granted I don't want to pick up a knocked down display or pay for damaged merchandise or apologixe profusely to someone they may kick...but none of this happened. And yes, it could happen, easily, but the place was Big Lots, and it was almost empty of customers....and sometimes I just have to let it go! I can;t be the mom who yells about everything, yet I find myself doing that some days...

{this moment}

2010-06-16T23:22:00.001-04:00

"A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember."

If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments.

Inspired by Soulemama

Thankful Thursdays

2010-06-16T18:30:00.014-04:00

Today, I am thankful for...

~sunset walks with my family. We take them almost daily.

~lunch dates with dear old friends.

~finally getting our organic CSA farm share box every week.

~wild edibles! We have been enjoying mulberries and tart cherries this week! (we made cherry juice, yum!) Nature provides us with so many free and wild treats! I can not wait until the wild berries are ready!

~my home. Although we have many regrets about buying it, and are ready to sell it, I have made this house a home and will kinda miss it.

~our local library.

And lastly, I am ever grateful for this man, he seems to make appearances on almost all my Thankful Thursdays :) He is just that great.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-06-16T10:37:00.004-04:00

I normally post for Wash Wednesday, but I kept forgetting to shoot the laundry!

52 weeks of me and my children #2.5

2010-06-15T19:34:00.002-04:00

So a few nights ago I spent 5 to 6 hours sorting through and transferring over 7,500 images to my external hard drive. It was a fun and emotional trip down memory lane, my how my babies have grown...

I came across this image I thought I lost and was so happy to find it :) It is four years ago, me and my Sammy and Max standing beside me ...

I created a huge folder to have prints made...pretty bad when I realized I had not added to the family albums in over two years!

52 weeks of me and my children #2

2010-06-15T18:49:00.012-04:00

Me and Sammy Pickles. This moment means so much to me for a few reasons. First, my husband took it all on his own without me even asking or even knowing...capturing a real moment. A moment where my spirited, bull headed little guy was being sweet and tender.* Second, because Sam's hand is on my neck. Since he was a baby he has always put his soft chubby hands on the back of our necks...it is a comfort/security thing for him.
And also, it shows my new hair cut! I think I like it, it is just....new...and feels different.... But the 24/7 decade+ ponytail had to die. A big thanks to my sister who is a hair stylist!

Here is week #1

*A good friend of Matt's was riding his bike out of his job at our local food co-op and was assaulted by a group of 8 men and ended up in the hospital. He is in good condition, but he is one of the nicest and peaceful men I know, his personality is very much like my husbands. (my husband happens to commute home on his bike in the same neighborhood) When Sam heard us talking about the unfortunate incident, he said, Mommy, we haf to go to da hops-i-able to visit Ryan!" And kept asking how he was. It then reminded my Sam that yesterday, his cousins Daddy was life flighted to the hospital after he fell 30 feet from a roof. Thankfully he only suffered a shattered heel, he could have lost his life or ability to walk...
But it made Sammy want to talk about him too and ask how he was.

I keep trying to blog about my Sammy's spirited personality, I am not sure what to do with him some days...I don't know where the anger is coming from and our peaceful parenting and gentle discipline is failing us....I will blog on this later...It's not all the time, but lately like half of the day..the other half he can be his sweet self...

Conjunctivitis!? Seriously!? Glad I am lactating.

2010-06-13T18:37:00.008-04:00

Crap. It seems my Max has pink eye. I assumed it was pink eye and googled the symptoms and this seems to be what it is. My 1st thoughts were, how can I treat this naturally? We rarely go to the DR., and we choose to treat illness natually with herbs, etc. rather than calling the Dr immediately or picking up an OTC drug.
Now, I know breast milk is medicinal, I have used my milk in the past for my boys when they each had ear infections or diaper rash. However, this factoid managed to have escaped my mind momentarily when I googled 'conjunctivitis natural treatment'. Then the light went on and I said out loud, "I knew that!"! The first three sites I pulled up all mentioned breast milk as the best remedy for bacterial conjunctivitis, which I am pretty sure Max has.

So I expressed some in a baby food jar and used a dropper and decided to not tell Max it was bm. Max freaked out at the thought of drops in his eyes. I had to have Matt come and help, we calmed him down and he agreed to one drop. When I squeezed the dropper he screamed like I put acid in his eye...which was kind of funny because it actually landed on his cheek. So then Matt and I demonstrated by putting a drop of my milk in our eyes and then he let me. He agreed to a drop every hour or so and in exchange that he got to have a Phineus and Ferb marathon. I agreed if he would also hold a chamomille tea bag on his eye too.
Now, it's 2:03 am and I am still awake! (been busy transferring 7,000 photos to my external hard drive) I have been putting drops in his eyes every hour and now mine are itchy! Crap! Hoping it is tired eyes and not pink eye for me too!

Anyways.. I was going to go into the medicinal powers of breast milk, but I need to go to bed!

Silas's 1st bottle....

2010-06-13T07:10:00.012-04:00

Last night I let my mother-in-law feed Silas his 1st bottle (of pumped/expressed breast milk). I am not a fan of expressing my milk, it is never easy for me.

I was happy and quite sad at the same time. It is nice knowing his Daddy can fully care for him if I need to be gone longer than a few hours. It is peace of mind in that I can shoot two upcoming weddings and three newborn sessions in the next two weeks, without worrying about bringing him along with me like I have been doing. I had been stressing these weddings and sessions knowing they will last for hours and wondering how I would work it out with nursing him. Now I know I can leave him home [in good hands] with my husband, but it makes my heart ache as I have never left him longer than fifteen minutes, let alone 3, 4 or even 6+ hours for a wedding. I contemplated turning the jobs down, but honestly right now we need the cash. I have a feeling both of our 1995 cars will not easily pass inspection this week...

It was a huge feeling of disconnection seeing him vigorously suck down a bottle, making me sad knowing he could get nourishment other then straight from my breast. I only pumped and bottle fed a couple of times with my 1st son, otherwise my husband brought him to my work. My 2nd son wanted nothing to do with a bottle. Not having my photography business then, or another job that required me to leave the house, (I sold on ebay and did childcare in my home) I did not have to worry about it. I've written about this before...

I guess I did not expect this to be such an emotional thing for me. It obviously weighed heavily on my mind because I dreamed of sobbbing to my husband about the baby not needing me.

I know there are so many woman who pump their milk to nourish their babies and be able to work at the same time. I worked with quite a few woman in the past who spent countless hours and breaks in the bathroom with a pump. And to those woman I praise you and give you a ton of credit.

Deep down I know this roly-poly baby will be just fine with his daddy, and that him taking to a bottle is a good thing...

Gone Fishin' and a trip to the Farmers Market

2010-06-12T22:34:00.013-04:00

What to do on a hot day and your kids are sick and you don't want them running around or playing in the pool or watching videos all day? Well yesterday we created a new game. Which was exciting to them mostly because they would love to go fishing...however Matt and I do not fish.

I cut out fish, eels, alligators, crabs etc. out of cheapo felt and we went on a calm walk in the park in our neighborhood searching for the perfect "rods". I sewed some velcro to washers and tied them to the string on the stick. Hours of fun...I should add that this then turned to fighting, tangled lines or a stick hanging from the ceiling fan... :)

I also cut out some boots and tires to learn about pollution...they didn't get the felt puddle of oil, but now they are educated on the greatest ecological disaster ever.

And then today everyone was feeling better so we took a trip to the farmers market...Mommy needed to get out of the house....and an iced coffee was in order, whew was it humid today!

The cauliflower, broccoli, strawberries (think I got enough?) and a-spar-a-gus (which I can only say to the tune of that song A-QUAR-I-US!) are all local! Eat local! Eat Fresh!

At the market I attempted to talk to the kids about supporting locally grown produce and lightly educated them on where other produce comes from, like the peaches and apricots Max chose. I explained how it is transported here and the energy used to do so. I want them to understand this process. (amusingly enough I educated a couple next to us who assumed it was all local...)
After reading Animal, Vegetable, Miracle I have become even more aware of things like this.
Max wanted to come home and see on the map where GA and CA were, to see where his fruit came from.

Sam picked out peanuts for Tango the squirrel, who went missing for 3 weeks when they cut down his house, but he's baaa-aaack! Tango likes to get into my house and will eat nuts right out of my hands. Maybe I should not feed him pecans, brazil nuts, walnuts...

{this moment}

2010-06-11T09:07:00.006-04:00

more hula and good times with my dear friend...

2010-06-09T15:05:00.014-04:00

Yesterday, my three boys and I went to the Three Rivers Art's Festival with my closest mommy friend Neyat and her three beautiful little ones. We are quite a group when we go out in public together, I wish I had a photo of us both wearing babies, both pushing a BOB jogger with a middle kid in it and both with an older child tagging along. :)

I was super excited to see there was a hooping demonstration and they invited everyone to join in! I hooped for a few minutes while the baby snoozed in the stroller, but then he wanted back in the sling. My friends beautiful little girl was so determined to learn to hoop! This was the 1st time she ever tried and after quite a few attempts and our encouragement she got it! Her mommy also tried hooping for her 1st time and began to catch on too! It was so much fun to see a large diverse group of people hooping together in the field! They invited us to their hooping group that they hold once a week, and I think I may join in soon!

Max was just amazing and everyone was so impressed with how well he was doing, especially with the really big hoops!

We had such a fun day running around, getting some tasty treats, making crafts from "trash" and just relaxing in the shade of the trees. And amusingly enough we did not even get over to see the actual art! The craft booths were in another area, and my friend and I were not too crazy about the idea of taking the kids through it.

I was having such fun that that I did not notice that my camera was totally on the wrong setting and almost all my photos came out overexposed. :( I had some really cute shots of the kids dancing to the live music...oh well.

Wash Wednesday....

2010-06-09T14:38:00.006-04:00

...really it was just a 'wash out'...I had planned to hang a load of cloth diapers, my drapes and tablecloths today but the weather had other ideas in mind :( I got one set of the drapes out and the dark clouds rolled in, and they got washed again :)

I really do not mind a rainy day, my garden will enjoy it and I will enjoy seeing the garden thrive from it. I needed a gray and rainy day like today to catch up on business emails, some cleaning and some quiet time with my boys. If they manage to get through some quiet indoors time, I promised we will watch a movie later. They already got to splash in the puddles outside, which they rather enjoyed, and I think the water company draining a fire hydrant made that much more fun! They are getting so used to be playing outdoors almost all day, here and at the park with friends, that we can all use a low key day at home.

oh my...sigh...right now they are yelling at each other about which movie they will watch later... I think they missed the point.

On an exciting note, I will continue wash Wednesdays because Gardenmama is continuing on :) Hopefully next week I will have a more creative photo filled with sunshine!

Do the Hula...

2010-06-08T10:16:00.009-04:00

(photos by Sam!)

So after watching so many cool you tube videos like this one, and reading about some of my favorite bloggers and their new found hoop therapy, I wanted to try to hoop! I loved it when I was a kid! So while at the grocery store yesterday I had to pick one up! I don't plan to get serious with it, but I sure enjoyed myself at the park with the kids yesterday! And my Max is a mad hooper! I was impressed!

We're off to the city art festival with my friend and her three little ones! Two mom's, six kids under six, ha, this should be fun!

52 weeks of me and my children #1

2010-06-06T00:08:00.019-04:00

(naked as usual as we are EC'ing )

(through the doorway, I used the self timer. me and my sweet peanut, this time after Daddy diapered him)

I have seen a few blog posts recently about getting your beautiful self in front of the camera. I know it can not just be a photographer thing, where you rarely get on 'that side'. It is a Mom thing too, where you tend to take all the photos of the kids, and the kids and their Dad, and you are hardly in any of them!! When they are adults they will wonder, "Did Mom actually ever come to the zoo", or "Was mom at this beach vacation", or "Was she even there the day I graduated?"

I am making an effort to take a photo a week of my children and me. Not always with all three at once, but at least with one of my boys. And I will also use the ones my older boys take of me with one of their brothers or any I ask my husband to take. (Note to self, give Matt that quick 'how to use the Canon' lesson...)

I have attempted the 52 weeks self portrait project on flickr four times, but never made it close to the end...it was and is still not easy for me to get in front of the camera. I got much better with it when I was pregnant because I LOVED being pregnant and felt more beautiful. Now when I take a photo I see the belly flab, the giant arms, the pasty un-toned legs...I see that I am not 18 anymore and that I am starting to feel my age...32. I think it will be motivation to keep up the power walks and the games of tennis :)

I will post them here on my blog once a week and I will also be adding them to this Flickr group and/or this 52 weeks of bam group! (someone just blogged about this group and I cannot remember who... I will have to find out)

I encourage you to do the same! Also, share your link to the comments below if you add it to your blog page!

What a workout!

2010-06-06T00:03:00.014-04:00

And it is so much fun! I forgot how much I love tennis! I avoid the game because I have weak ankles from an incident when I was in 6th grade, severe sprains to both ankles, but Matt encouraged me to try again and I am hooked! And I will admit it is strengthening my ankles. Oh, I should also admit to the hard fall I took this week playing....I am not very graceful, came down like a pile of bricks...I know the large group of Eastern Indian men found it very amusing while they played cricket next to us...but nothing seems to be broken :)

We have a new ritual of going to the local park just before sunset when it starts to cool off. We play tennis with the kids, who also love it, and then they go on the playground right next to the courts and Matt and I play until sweaty exhaustion, which comes much quicker for me than him :) Did I mention he pedals 30 miles round trip to work 5 days a week?

Afterwards at dusk, we walk the mile long trail in the woods at the park, which makes the woods spooky and pretty dark! On the 1st night the boys were kind of scared, but then they thought it was cool! We decided to make it a barefoot walk too! Three of my favorite things; being with my family, barefoot and under the trees!

I hope to keep this up because the sweating is great to rid my body of toxins, and maybe I will finally loose the last few pregnancy pounds and tone up my body! I usually do not have self image issues, but lately I have been kinda bummed, especially when I see how flabby my upper arms have become :( Dude, when did I get so old and out of shape?

Rain Rain Go Away...

2010-06-05T23:37:00.011-04:00

...I don't want to shop vac the basement anymore!!

Whata day whata day..

Got to visit my niece and her husband in their new home today...fun day but an hour away on the other side of the city. On the way home we sat in traffic for two hours with a grumpy and whiny four yo...and a very upset 11 week old. I pulled over and calmed him down three times because I can not bear to hear him cry...some days I wish he took a binky.

Went to Whole Foods on the way home to meet my husband before he went in to work, I was two hours late so we spent 20 minutes trying to find him in the busy store...rushed to get the kids something to eat and two cases of mango's and six, yes six bunches of banana's that the husband can't put on his bicycle for his 15 mile commute home...nursed the baby outside at the tables while the kids ate their california rolls and loaded an angry baby and whiny four yo back in the car for another half hour drive home....some days I wish I'd remember to feed myself. Forgot to get myself anything and I was so hungry...

Got home to find a flooded basement, again. Please stop raining. Another joy of home ownership of a 106 yo house...good thing I just purged the junk and cleaned down there, not much damage...but baby was still angry so he rode on my back in the wrap while I sucked up water for an hour and a half...some days I wish I drank.

(I should say Silas had painful gas all day, I wish I'd think twice before eating Indian...)

Most of all, even though the day was not horrible, I wish I could just remember to stop and breathe!! Deep cleansing breaths make everything better. It wasn't until right before bedtime, while watching my Max and Sam make baby Silas giggle and coo non-stop, that I remembered to smile and breathe.

I need something like this or maybe this to remind me...or maybe like Mylie or Lohan I can get it tattooed on me...damn them, they ruined that idea for me.

Seriously though, it is amazing how I can go all day and realize I have been shallow breathing all day....and how awesome it feels to take a few cleansing breaths...
go ahead, try it, in..1...2...3....and out...1....2...3....feels good, doesn't it?

{this moment}

2010-06-04T07:53:00.002-04:00

Thankful Thursdays

2010-06-02T18:55:00.012-04:00

I am thankful for...

~herbal iced sun tea, this is rooibos!
(I'm on a coffee break...ok, that doesn't sound right, a break from coffee that is, I can't say quit b/c I am not a quitter :)

~a wonderful Mother-in-law who is an amazing grandmother, she did a pretty fab job at raising her son too.

~moments when my hard headed 4 yo son wants to cuddle

~watching thunderstorms on the front porch with my husband, and boy did we have a huge one yesterday!

~The beginning of the Farmer's Markets in my city! Buy Local! Buy Fresh! Today we went to the market in the middle of the city (Pittsburgh). We bought 2 quarts of strawberries and sweet peas, that did not make it home, we ate them all there and in the car! The boys were also filmed by the local news eating their peas and berries while we sat in the middle of the market to watch some construction going on.

~Lastly I am thankful that I have a "job" that does not take me away from my family. Since I had Silas and returned to my photography business, I have been fortunate enough to take my family on location to all of my outdoor sessions. Today they played in the park across the street from the conservatory where I did a 1 yo boys session. Just knowing my baby is not home crying for his mama allows me to focus on what I am doing. Maybe in a few more weeks I will be able to leave him for a few hours at a time with his Daddy...maybe...I am just not ready yet.

Honeysuckle and morning walks...

2010-06-02T09:39:00.010-04:00

Honeysuckle is my all time favorite scent. It triggers memories of the final days of school and memories of walking to the playground recreation center for summer day camp with my bff Kristen...we would pluck a flower and suck out the tiny drop of nectar...

I love how a scent can send me back in time and put a giant grin on my face...yet tears in my eyes...a few years ago my bff Kristen passed away at the young age of 30. That memory triggered memories of another old friend and co-worker who just took his life last week...ok this was supposed to be a happy post so I will turn it back around to what a beautiful day it is and how much I have been enjoying my early morning power walks with Silas.

One of the many joys of co-sleeping is waking up to this beautiful smiling face next to me.

To be awoken by his happy coo's and ahh's as the sun peeks up from the houses outside the bedroom window is such a beautiful way to start the day. We get out and walk at 7am before the other boys and Daddy are up, some mornings Sam is awake and he comes too, making my walk a double workout as he hitches a ride in the front of the BOB jogger... Our neighborhood is on a hill so I walk up the hills for a real workout. I am now addicted to 'feeling the burn' and breaking a sweat! It feels great!

This morning I took my camera as usual, as you never know what beauty you may come across and want to capture...

(our tomato plant with dew drops)

(my flowers on the steps)

(Everlasting peas, the peas are edible!)

I also cut a few more honeysuckle clippings to put in all the windows so the sweet smell fills my home with each gentle breeze that blows in...oh I am loving it!!

Wishing everyone a beautiful day! We are off to the community pool with my wonderful mother-in-law! No sarcasm, she really is a blessing :)

Wash Wednesday

2010-06-02T09:14:00.006-04:00

I didn't get to hang the laundry out this week as we had thunderstorms on and off, but I am not complaining because I love thunderstorms! I love the sound of the rolling thunder and the magical light display on the sky. The boys and I sat on the front porch and watched a few storms roll in and then splashed in the puddles afterwards. I even let the boys dance in the downpours and I joined in too :) It was quite refreshing with this early summer like humid heatwave we have been having.

So I took this photo this morning of the swimming trunks hanging to dry after they played in the kiddie pool all day yesterday. And there are a few pair of Sam's shorts as he could not help himself from getting in the pool after he changed out of his trunks. Oh, and my Boba carrier needed wiped down so it is drying too :)

Inspired by Garden Mama's Wash Wednesday's.

13 years...

2010-06-01T19:55:00.004-04:00

(a photo from The beginning...we were not quite official until a few months after this photo, he was going to Sr. Prom with a 'friend' and I cut his hair the night before, I kinda scalped him, oops :P I was 19, a freshman in college, and he was 18)

So about a week ago I knew this anniversary was coming...but when the actual day rolled around, we both forgot until a close friend reminded me! But see, that is how our relationship is, it's no big deal. I am not a flowers and card kinda girl, I have always been low maintenance like that. We are not gift givers either for any holiday so really, it is no big deal. We can celebrate later when the kiddos go to sleep :) We rarely get sitters so we can go on a date..but I am thinking soon, regular date nights might be in order...

Anywho, 13 years ago we began dating. I met him one year earlier at K-mart, yep, I found my man at K-mart, blue light special as the story goes. We were both working there and our relationship started as a friendship and blossomed into a relationship. Honestly there was no clear day as to when we decided to make that change, but we knew it was around the 1st and decided the 1st would be easy to remember....ok, so maybe not :)

We did not get married until after I was pregnant with baby #2, and that anniversary is in August and it will be 5 years. We got hitched in a courthouse on a hot summer day when we lived in Charlottesville, VA. Although that was special and all, to me it was just paperwork and legalities and today is our true anniversary. Long story short I come from a family that has many divorcee's, including my parents who were both married three times!!...and a sister and two brothers who were divorced...yeah, lets just say I was not a fan of the institution of marriage, until I needed some insurance :P

No relationship is perfect, but ours is pretty darn near close. We RARELY argue and thankfully we are on the same page when it comes to lifestyle choices and parenting. He is my best friend and I could not imagine life without him.

Update on The Great {Material} Cleanse!

2010-06-01T17:54:00.003-04:00

I have been working or should I say sweating my buns off all day purging the house of 'stuff'! (I could not bring myself to turn the AC on yet...)

Someone, forgive me I cannot remember who, coincidentally blogged this video yesterday :)

I started with the boys room and went from three full toy boxes to just one. And craigs-listed the other two toy boxes. I have a pile of trash and a pile to donate.

I went through their books and even though I took half of them away there is still a whole book shelf full. There are so many I could not part with....yet.

I emptied two media cabinets full of VHS tapes to donate and C-listed the shelves as well (they sold already, along with an extra twin size bed frame and one toy box :)

And I am donating half of the puzzles and games and pulled a good bit of clothes from their drawers.

I also de-cluttered the living room of a plant stand, a stack of 10 full photo albums and other piles of clutter and cleaned out my desk.

Thanks to a happy and sleepy baby and a kiddy pool for the boys I got two rooms done!

I enjoy getting rid of things way too much, but it is such a great feeling to part with our possessions....now to just keep the boys away from the piles :)

The Great {Material} Cleanse!

2010-05-31T19:36:00.010-04:00

Starting tomorrow, my husband and I will follow through with our plan to get rid of at least half of the material possessions we own. We both feel the house is too cluttered (most would disagree:) and there is so much we do not need or do not use.

We are starting with the kids things. They will be parting with MANY toys that never get touched and the puzzles and games they have become bored with and two of the three toy boxes. We will be donating the entire VHS collection and donating half of the books, ours and theirs. We own a ton of books, literally. (The library and Netflix will be a fine substitute.)

I started getting into my closet today and already have 2 giant bags ready for the thrift store and I can not wait to get into the attic and basement.

I'm so excited about doing this and it is part of a grander scheme that we have been pondering for years that may finally be put into action. Websites like this and blogs like this make me realize it can be a reality. We are also intrigued by families like this one that made their dreams a reality and live in a paradise.

I plan to blog further into detail about our grand adventure in the near future. This idea is part of a six month plan to dramatically change our way of life. It is easy to loose sight of ideas like this, or have them put down by friends and family that think we are nuts, but this is something we really want to try. We tried the "American Dream" plan, and although we are living happily in the burbs with our house and fenced yard, we are not quite content.

And even if we only end up on the road temporarily, we still plan to sell our house and move somewhere else.

I will blog some updates on The Great Cleanse and maybe get some before and after photos. Now I am off to list a bunch of furniture on craigslist and load some things in the car for the thrift store.

A sunset stroll in the city...

2010-05-30T08:02:00.020-04:00

After a hot day hanging around the house, the kids playing in the little pool, husband and I doing yard work, we decided to head into the city after dinner. We live just 15 or so miles from downtown Pittsburgh (or dahn-tahn Picks-burgh if your a local Yinzer) and although we go into the city area often, we rarely go there just to walk around. Last night we decided to stroll along the river path on the North side of the city to watch the sunset.

I love that my husband loves to wear the baby. We argue over who gets to wear him. I love when he wears him and has such a proud papa look on his face. And how he grins from ear to ear when passer by's comment on how adorable the baby is.

This was Silas's first trip strolling around town.

I really love this city we live in!

Sammy was exhausted from swimming all day and fell asleep on the way there. He never woke up, even when we transferred him into the stroller. I love our BOB because he fits in there...almost. I must admit, with mom guilt, that our walk was more on the relaxing side with him napping. I'm sure our sunset stroll would have went a little different...keeping Sam away from the rivers edge, keeping Sam from chasing geese, keeping Sam from jumping in the fountain, stopping Sam from running a mile ahead, getting Sam out of someones docked boat...oh that kid....he keeps me on my toes, but I love him so...he would have been so grumpy though, being woken up and all...
I honestly missed the presence of his energy though!

Refreshing....

2010-05-29T12:17:00.011-04:00

I was so excited to go to the Farmer's Market this morning for the 1st time this year!

Although there were only two farmers, one being the organic farm we will be getting our CSA farm share from, the meat guy and a few family bakeries, it was still exciting to get out and see what they had. The farmers had lettuce greens, radishes and lots of starter veggies, herbs and flowers. And best of all, STRAWBERRIES!

Although we have a beautiful strawberry patch of our own, they are not growing fast enough yet, so we bought some from each farmer. The organic ones were much better then the other farmers and we ate almost all of them before we even made it home.

We will be doing yard work today, so I whipped up a refreshing strawberry lemonade!

I cut the peel from one lemon, and blended the lemon with 15 or so strawberries and a heaping spoonful of Raw honey and a cup of water.

(We have a Vitamix, it was worth every penny we paid, it gets used at least once a day in our house. )

Then I poured it over ice, yum! So refreshing!

We do not have any big plans for this holiday weekend. I have a baby shower to go to tomorrow, otherwise we will be hanging around the house and maybe walking in the woods later in the evening when it cools off. Now I am off to mulch the garden while the boys play in the kiddy pool and Silas naps in the stroller next to me :)

Wishing you all a lovely and safe weekend!

{this moment}

2010-05-27T22:43:00.006-04:00

A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

This moment inspired by Soulemama...

(Excuse the quality of that photo. I quickly snapped it, thinking my camera was in a different mode, it was in manual so it was waaay over exposed and blown out...but nonetheless I love it)

and lol, I so had this image on yesterdays Thankful Thursday, but i really wanted to use it here.

so much for 'no words', I really need to work on that...

Thankful Thursdays

2010-05-26T21:37:00.013-04:00

I am keeping this simple today.

Today, and every single day, I am ever grateful for my amazing husband Matthew.
He is my best friend and such an awesome father.
I am so happy we are on the same page when it comes to parenting. I could go on and on about how wonderful he is but he needs his back rubbed and iced tea served.

Dear Husband, I am so sorry I shared my germs with you. I hope I can care for you as good as you took care of me last week. :)

Like yawns, Smiles are contagious.

2010-05-26T11:34:00.003-04:00

If in our daily life we can smile, if we can be peaceful and happy, not only we, but everyone will profit from it. This is the most basic kind of peace work.
-Thich Nhat Hanh

Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.
-Thich Nhat Hanh

And then there is this song that always makes me smile :)

Wash Wednesday

2010-05-25T22:24:00.011-04:00

I am amazed at the power of the sun to remove cloth diaper stains and put me in the best mood all at the same time. Being barefoot in the grass and hanging clothes just seem to go hand in hand.

Inspired by Garden Mama. Join the fun and comment below with your Wash Wednesday Link!

hopelessness

2010-05-25T15:48:00.006-04:00

These images just sent me into a fit of tears. This is bad. This is very bad.

I can only hope the giant {crunchy} steps my family takes to lead a green and eco-friendly lifestyle makes some minute difference in this world.

The Incredible Growing Baby....

2010-05-25T15:25:00.005-04:00

Silas is 9 weeks old today. This morning he weighed in at 15 lb 13 oz...then I realized I weighed him in a very wet cloth diaper...so nekkid he weighed 15 lb 6 oz w/o the diaper :)
And his head is 16.5" in circumference. This puts him in the 95th percentile for height/weight.

And about 25" long, he did not make measuring easy! (he was 7lb 4oz, 21" at birth)
This little man makes me smile all day long, such a chubby lil' blessing.

Happy Tuesday! It is getting warm here in the 'Burgh. That means I have to wipe between those rolls of his a few times a day or he starts to smell cheesy :)

Yesterday we brought out the slip-n-slide and tomorrow we will blow up the kiddy pool :)

Sick and tired of being sick and tired...

2010-05-22T19:42:00.003-04:00

Wednesday I knew I was not feeling myself but I ignored the signs that illness was taking over. That night I suffered with 105 degree temperatures and the worst body aches and sore throat I have ever experienced. I felt like someone stepped on my spine, kicked me down the steps and then jumped on me over and over....yeah, that bad, I was in misery and convinced I was dying. My throat was almost swelled shut and felt full of gravel and sand.

You know that moment where you think, ok, this could be it, not going to the ER could be a bad decision...I really thought I was dying. I had a horribly stiff neck and thought I had meningitis. My lower back hurt so bad...it was seriously like the back labor I had with all my kids.

So as I laid there crying and moaning in pain and misery, with my cell in hand, ready to call night shift husband to come home and make it all better, I stared at my sweet sleeping baby next to me and fell into a deep sleep. I sweat through the fever and woke up feeling like I was hit by a truck, but the fever was gone.

I do not go to Doctors. I just don't. The last time I went, it was to an OBGYN was when I was pregnant with baby #1. At 25, I had never even been to a regular OBGYN visit. With baby #2 and #3 I chose midwives. Many years prior to that, it was for emergency reasons as an accident prone kid. I received stitches about a dozen times.

I think a lot of this has to do with watching my father die with cancer for 2.5 years and he was being treated as a guinea pig...that and I am not too crazy about western medicine...

I know if I went to the medexpress I could get my antibiotics and be on my merry way to health, but I choose to take alternative routes, kinda like many of my other lifestyle decisions. And because I am breastfeeding, and although it is supposed to be safe, I was not willing to take antibiotics.

I know at least five people who had the same symptoms and a few went to the ER and tested positive for strept. Where the Dr said it was a very strong strain of strept.

I treated myself with colloidal silver spray, homeopathics, green smoothies, raw garlic (steeped into a tea or blended to add to a miso broth soup) and lots and lots of herbal teas with lemon and raw honey. (red raspberry leaf, echinacea, rose hips, chamomile, hibiscus, nettles (fresh nettles in my soup)...oh and lots of water, some fresh squeezed OJ, carrot/celery/apple juice and lots of rest! (thanks to my sister for taking the older two boys all day friday!)

I am happy to say that three days later I am feeling much better. My house, well it is verging on disaster zone. Although my sweet sweet husband waited on me hand and foot brewing teas and making soups and doing whatever he could to make me feel better, he just can not clean like me. He would not allow me to lift a finger, which I am thankful for because the key to healing is rest, but I just do not know how to rest. But I let the house go and rested as much as possible.

It is a good thing I only get sick every 3 or 4 years. I do not make a good patient. I whine, I moan, I cry....it's pretty pathetic.

Oh, but here is an amusing moment of delirium...I never take OTC meds, but the few times I have, like after giving birth w/o drugs, I will take ibuprofen. With the high fever and severe body aches I was having and the throbbing head I decided I needed some relief.

It was 3 am, and the bottle was in the windowsill by the bed, I reached up to grab it in the dark and knocked it out the window and listened to it roll off the roof... (someone pushed the screen up like 6"). For an hour I laid there in misery contemplating getting it...and I did. I took my shaky and weak self down the steps out the front door and to the side of the house with my cell as a flash light to retrieve my pain relief. Oh, and did I mention I was in my underwear? Seriously, what a sight should anyone have seen me. Tank top, panties, hair everywhere, hunched over in pain and searching for a pill bottle...but they did help me sleep better. I did not even think about going outside at 3am in my undies...I will blame the fever.

{this moment}

2010-05-21T09:43:00.003-04:00

Welcome to my home, it was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it

2010-05-20T19:24:00.009-04:00

I saw that phrase on a plaque in someone's home, maybe my sisters, who has 4 children, close in age, and she always seems to have a tidy home!

I was inspired by my friend Drea to share what my home really looks like. She, just like myself, is a Mom to 3 boys, close in age to my boys and she had her 3rd son just days before Silas arrived :) Today on her Blog she bravely shared photos of her "messy" home :) I honestly did not think it was that bad, it looks similar to my own. Mostly clean laundry, dirty laundry, laundry baskets, cloth diapers, receiving blankets, sippy cups, toys, games etc etc...

And I am trying not to judge, but I have seen some other bloggers share their messy home...yeah, scary stuff! Made me feel a bit better!

Life with a newborn and two young boys leaves little time for cleaning and organizing. I honestly think it makes for a better parent when you are spending time making finger paintings and clay dinosaurs or heading to the park to play rather spending time scrubbing and folding clothes :)

I was raised by a Mother who had severe OCD. Everything had a place, everything was spotless, jeans were hung on a hanger, the vacuum lines had to be straight (I'm not kidding)....our home looked un-lived in. I commend my Mom for keeping such a tidy home but being raised like this made me kind of OCD.

After the birth of my 1st son I had to let it go. Before he was born I could not relax and watch a movie if a magazine was lying on the floor, or a dirty dish was in the sink. It took some self training to loose this, and I still have not completely, but I am learning to let it go.

I am still a bit of an organizing freak, I go through the kids clothes and toys often to get rid of things, I am a bit of an anti-hoarder. I love getting rid of things. In my idea of a perfect home it is bare. Just the essentials, which in my view is a lot less then most people would consider essential.

Ok, so my home does not look totally messy, but in my eyes it is a bit of a disaster. Baskets of books to be put upstairs, layers of dust, steps need vacuumed and if you have hardwood floors and kids and pets then you know the misery of how often they need swept, and it's been days!

Believe it or not, I did the windows last week! You can't really tell from the picture but they are bad.

The kitchen is hopeless, but I can't complain because my sweet husband is in there much more than I. And we do not have a dishwasher {GASP!} We don't own a microwave either, umm, but only one is by choice! :)
My excuse for a messy and dirty, yes, dirty kitchen, we are going to remodel soon, uh-huh...yeah, that's my story and I'm sticking to it. Really though, the kitchen is hideous. Brown vinyl flooring, 70's paneling with gold glitter...the cabinets were dark brown until I painted them white, seriously, how does one keep cabinets white when you have kids! (and a messy chef for a husband) Impossible I tell ya, impossible!
I did wipe down the inside of the cabinets yesterday as we are battling pantry moths! I had to declare war on them! Peppermint oil and bay leaves are supposed to get rid of them, we will see... I think they were nesting in my toaster or a bag of rice.... ICK!

My room, usually it's the cleanest and least cluttered space in the house, this week, it's a bit of a mess...

The boys room, hopeless, I must realize that boys are just messy, mine are anyways. I seriously cleaned their room a few days ago! They change clothes ALL day! Oh, and the shelf on the floor was pulled off by Sammy a few days ago, it's still waiting to be put back up...

I like to remember this poem when I feel overwhelmed with my household chores...I have seen it on many blogs :)

Mother, O Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing, make up the bed,
Sew on a button and butter the bread.

Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I've grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,
Lullabye, rockabye, lullabye loo.
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo

The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew
And out in the yard there's a hullabaloo
But I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo
Look! Aren't his eyes the most wonderful hue?
Lullabye, rockaby lullabye loo.

The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
But children grow up as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

- Ruth Hulbert Hamilton

Thankful Thursdays

2010-05-20T12:13:00.012-04:00

I am thankful for a loving husband and the fresh squeezed OJ he made for me this morning. And that he stayed awake after working all night so I could get more rest.

I am thankful my illness, as horrible as it was last night, seems to be gone today.

I am thankful for being able to grow our own vegetables.

I am thankful for the birds singing at the start of my day.

I am thankful (and still amazed) at having the ability to nourish my sweet baby.

I am thankful for an eight week old baby that sleeps almost all night.

I am thankful for my organic fair trade coffee.

I am thankful for two older sons playing together so well in the tent out in the yard.
(Ok, that lasted as long as it took me to type this, now someone is yelling about a light saber. They do play well together *most* of the time :)

I am thankful for a few dozen parks and playgrounds within a 30 minute drive.

I think I will make Thursdays my day of thanks. I don't know if this is a blog thing, like Wordless or Wash Wednesdays or {This Moment} on Fridays...so I won't take credit for it :) I also think I would like a day of un-gratitude. That seems pretty negative, especially for me, as I strive to lead a positive outlook on life, but there are a lot of things in this world I am not thankful for. It's all about balance :)

I decided a few times last week, blogging was not for me. I get incredible writers block and usually have no idea what to write about and when I do, I have trouble putting my thoughts into words. I tend to go off on tangents and be well, scatterbrained in my writing. I worry too much about offending or boring any readers I might have, lol, if anyone actually reads my blog. But I will continue to blog, if only for self enjoyment.

Two Months! Seriously!?

2010-05-18T08:08:00.010-04:00

My sweet baby boy Silas Avery is two months old today! Counting weeks, not going by the date :) He weighs 14lb and 12 oz! (Thanks to my trusty digital mailing scale I weigh him often :) I wonder, (mostly because of reactions from family, like my mom, saying he is obese) if a baby can be too fat? My thoughts, no. He is just thriving on my breast milk. Must be all the ice cream I have been eating :) I just happen to have chubby babies. Both my boys were very chubby and I was a very chubby baby too.

(pardon the photo quality, it is a picture from a picture in an album)

(This is me and my grandma Gertie :)

This is Sam at 9 weeks

Max at about 8 weeks

At two months Silas wakes up maybe once a night and sometimes he sleeps all night! We are co-sleeping so even when he does wake up, I don't mind, I just pull him closer and nurse him and we both fall right back to sleep. I have to say he is the best sleeper of my three boys. Sam was a horrible sleeper!! He did not sleep through the night until he was 2. I put Silas to bed at 9pm and he wakes at about 7am to eat and will fall back a sleep or just lay there 'talking' and smiling while I still rest.
Every morning the boys wake up and come into my bed to play and cuddle with him.

Silas is a very happy and content baby. He seriously never cries. He will fuss and complain when something is bugging him or he decides it is feeding time, but doesn't actually cry.

He LOVES to smile at all of us. It is so sweet how he interacts with me and his brothers and his Daddy. Coo'ing, Ahh'ing and getting all excited when we talk to him.

He has a super strong neck, I think there is a neck under those chins :) , and he holds his head up really well. He is way past the fragile newborn stage. He is a solid and strong guy! He doesn't mind tummy time and has already rolled to his back from his belly.

He still loves being worn in a sling, which makes me happy because I LOVE wearing him :)
I just can not believe this sweet baby has been in our lives for 56 days. Ok, when you put it in days it does not seem so long :)

lovely weekend...

2010-05-17T09:48:00.018-04:00

(I am so thankful I asked my niece to take a photo of me and my boys! I do not have enough of them! And I am super excited to be meeting another local photographer for a family session swap very soon! We have NEVER had a family session!!)

The weather this weekend was beautiful!

Friday I met my sister at the park so she could watch my older two boys so I could run to Target for a shower gift. I was so thankful, it made my shopping trip, with a sleeping Silas, so much easier! Then we met at Panera for lunch with all the boys. They were so well behaved! Well almost, Sam was better than usual :)

After lunch the boys and I went to the grocery store for THE BEST non-diary "ice cream"! and cones! This stuff is amazingly creamy and delicious!!

We came home and made ice cream cones and ate them on a blanket in the backyard. The boys took turns holding the baby and we all giggled as he smiled so big and 'talked' to them. Than a thunderstorm chased us to the porch. We sat and enjoyed watching the rain pour down and listened to the rolling thunder. The boys enjoyed dancing and running in the downpour.

The sun came back out as fast as it had left and we went for a long walk. We all went barefoot and the boys jumped in the 'river' flowing along the street curb.

Saturday I started my day with hanging the cloth diapers to dry...

I LOVE hanging clothes to dry!

After that I went on a power walk and some one on one time with my oldest son Max. Silas came but he was fast asleep in the stroller. Max hitched a ride on the front of the BOB most of my power walk, but we had some great conversation as we walked a few miles down the hill and across the bridge to the store for wrapping paper :) Pushing a 60 lb six year old and a 15 lb eight week old makes for an awesome workout! Especially coming back up the hill!

We went to the Farmer's Market for more plants and then got ready to head to my nephew's fiance's bridal shower...which we were an hour late for! If you know me you know I am NEVER late for anything! Never. Seriously, even with three kids, I am always on time, so I can blame my sister for telling me the wrong time, and then blame myself for tossing the invite :) I was kind of thankful though as I had to take all 3 boys and 3 hours in a room full of woman may have been too much for them! I am going to be the wedding photog and I managed to not take any pictures at her shower! OOPS!!

After the shower we went with my sister, niece and my other nephews wife (who is due in July with my great nephew!) to a local pond with a walking trail. The boys had a great time running around, watching the fisherman, tossing rocks and watching baby geese with their hissing parents. Then it was off for more ice cream, real ice cream this time. Once in a while I let the boys indulge, me too :) At home we are 95% vegan :P On occasion we have eggs and sometimes out of the house they have dairy.

(My sister and niece Afton)

(Sister and preggo niece-in-law Seka, and a very chubby sleeping Silas!)

Saturday ended with a sunset walk around town. I am a big walker, we seriously walk at least once a day and usually 2-3 times a day!!

Sunday was a quiet day spent at home. I met my cousin for more power walking in the early afternoon and then we cleaned up around the outside of the house. We all marveled at our growing gardens and got super excited to see all the strawberries growing! The boys had a kickball game with all the neighbor kidss and we wrapped up the evening with a family bike ride just before sunset. Then we watched a movie together (Castle in the sky, made by the same people who made one of our fave movies, My Neighbor Totoro!)

Max on the tag-a-long hitchhiker

Matt discovered slugs were eating these this morning! I heard beer in a jar lid keeps them away...we don't drink beer...

This Moment...ok, moments :)

2010-05-14T15:37:00.003-04:00

This moment inspired by Soulemama...

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

Ok, I am cheating, I had to post a few more :)

How does a 7 week old get dirt under their nails is a mystery to me :]

Wash Wednesday

2010-05-12T09:06:00.007-04:00

Because I was inspired by Gardenmama's blog, I will be taking part in Wash Wednesday :)

I get great joy in hanging out our clothes to dry and have been inspired by other Wash Wednesday bloggers to hang a low line for my boys to participate.

This photo was taken last week. It has been rainy and lacking sunshine here in Pittsburgh so I did not get to hang any laundry this week and it does not look like I will be able to the next few days either.

This is half of my cloth diaper stash, I can only wash and hang 1/2 of them at a time on the side porch. We have a clothes line in our small back yard, but we also have a 100+ year old maple tree that blocks 99% of the sunlight...which sadly also makes growing a veggie garden back there hard...so I improvised and hung these lines on the front porch which gets direct sunlight almost all day :) I will have to add more lines on the other side of the porch so I can hang all of them at one time.

It saddens and angers me knowing there are people who are not allowed to hang their clothes to dry in their neighborhood! Seriously!?! The township or borough or city can have an ordinance saying you can't! I strongly disagree and I would fight that!

So Attached...

2010-05-08T17:20:00.005-04:00

When my 1st baby was just 6 weeks old I had to return to work. Had to, well because although my husband had a job, we also needed my income. Had to, because I had a commitment to my employer....had to....ok, I did not really have to. We could have made it work financially, but after working for 9 years it was hard for me to leave my job, but what was harder was leaving my baby home.

He was in the care of my husband, the only person I would ever leave him with, but my heart ached so bad. I nursed him on demand and he did not take to a bottle. My husband would bring him to my job so I could nurse him on my breaks, but still, I felt panicky when he was not in my presence. The 1st few weeks I returned to work were so hard on me and my husband and sweet baby. While at work my milk would let down and I would cry in the back room longing to nurse him....the time went so very slow and it was only a part time job with 5 hour shifts. At the time I was a manager in a children's consignment shop, so every time a mom and baby would come in the sadness hit me again.

After a month or so it got easier, but I still felt horrible. I got a different job when he was 6 months old where I only worked 2 days a week for 3 hours a day. After a few months we decided I needed to be a full time stay at home mom :)

With my 2nd baby I did not have a job to return to and I did not have to leave my baby. In fact he was almost 4 months old before I left him for any amount of time. And when I did it was only 2-3 hours at a time.

Now, with my 3rd baby, who is almost seven weeks old, I am having a very hard time returning to my job as a photographer. So far my husband has been able to attend all of my sessions, which were outdoors, wearing our baby in the sling and hanging around the area. This way I could focus on my photography and know he was content with daddy.

Next week I have a newborn session scheduled and these take 3-4 hours on average in my clients home. I am torn at the thought of leaving him and don't think it will work out to take him with me either and I almost have myself convinced to give the job to another local photographer I know.

I really don't know why I am posting about this other than it is weighing heavily on my mind and I need to sort it all out.

As much as I love photography, the income is not necessary, we can make do without it. I just might have to get over it and commit to the many sessions I have scheduled this month, or I may have to choose to only do outdoor sessions where my husband can come and they only last on average 1-2 hours. I may have to decide to reschedule my clients for later in the summer when my baby is a bit older...

I do want to mention that I have nothing against working moms or Mothers that have to, or choose to return to work when their babies are small, but for me personally I just can not do it, again. I am just too attached to my little guy. I am his soul means of nourishment. I am the only one that can comfort his cries.

That Dad...What a Guy!

2010-05-07T08:19:00.009-04:00

(story of this picture here )

No, I do not have severe Mommy brain, I am aware it is Mother's Day weekend, not Father's Day :)

This is about my Dad. The crazy (in a good way), fun and big hearted guy that raised me. The man that died a long and painful death ten years ago today. He was always a strong and healthy hard working man who watched what he ate, never smoked and enjoyed the occasional cold draft beer. However he was defeated by Mantle Cell Lymphona after a two year long battle. He was diagnosed just weeks after retiring and on my 20th birthday. His plans to take his boat and RV and travel would never happen. Something he looked forward to for years.

Watching my father deteriorate for two years, and in the end literally watching him take his last breaths as we all sat around him holding his hands, is the most painful experience I have ever gone through. It took me years to get over his death. It was not until the birth of my 1st son, three years later, that I really came to terms with the experience. It took me much longer than three years to remember the fun times and to not replay his final moments over and over in my head. To not think of the chemo treatments, the weight loss and bald head. To not replay the long hospital visits and devastating conversations with his team of Dr's. To not picture my Dad, once so full of life, lying in a casket...

At this moment as I reflect I am all choked up and can barely type, although it has been ten years, it still hurts so much. What hurts the most is that he is not here to see my children. To play with them or take them for ice cream like he did with me.

I had so many other things in mind when I though of posting about my Dad...but now my mind is kind of spinning and I can't...I am now at a loss for words and words just can not describe the loss of a parent.

But there are so many good memories of the 22 years I knew my Dad, sadly though, memories fade....

I Miss you Daddio, Love Chaka, your 1st Class (possesed) Brat :)

{this moment}

2010-04-30T08:12:00.006-04:00

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

Inspired by SouleMama

Wordless Wednesday

2010-04-28T09:54:00.003-04:00

My Guys :)

I am so grateful for all the family time we spend together :)

Baby Comparison

2010-04-23T23:04:00.013-04:00

Here are my three sons :) at about 4-5 weeks old. Max, Sam and Silas. I think they all look very similar, but Silas favors Sam. I wonder if he will have blue eyes like Sam and Matt or brown like Max and me!
Silas and Sam also had similar personalities at this age!

I got the idea from my friend Drea and her blog.

Happy Earth Day!

2010-04-22T09:48:00.004-04:00

Our day began with spotting this Pileated Woodpecker in our tree! Max spotted him yesterday and came running in to tell me about seeing a GIANT woodpecker! I thought he was exaggerating but it is big!

We then went for a morning walk, trash bag tied to the stroller to pick up any litter along the way. After a dentist appointment for Max, and then a visit to our friends new home we will come home to work on our veggie garden and get things planted! The boys will have their own little garden spot! And then I get to take my nephews engagement photos!

Yesterday we took a hike with the neighbor kids and educated them on wild edibles and let them toss rocks into a nearby creek and I also got to educate a few young neighbor girls on breastfeeding :) They were very curious and full of questions so I happily jumped on the opportunity to tell them about how I nourish my babies :)

Digital Detox Fail :)

2010-04-21T09:07:00.002-04:00

Ok, 48 hrs into my Detox I caved. First I "HAD" to download pictures of my friends kids from my camera, and then I "HAD" to share them on flickr so my friend could see them, then I "HAD" to check my messages to arrange a location to do my nephews engagement pictures. So yes, yet another epic fail of fasting from the internet.

However, I only got on the computer when my kids were in bed. I did not read facebook updates and I am letting all my favorite blogs go unread. My children are the main reason I wanted to cut back on my computer time. No more, "I will get your juice in a second..." or "Shhh, tell me about your dream after I read this..." or "We are going to the park, give Mommy 2 more minutes..."

It is because of them, my adorable children that are growing right before my eyes....or not if my eyes are fixated on this screen for too many hours of the day. My breaking point for wanting to take a screen break was when I found myself NAK'ing...Nursing at Keyboard... :) A friend told me that one. It's not a horrible thing, but I love breastfeeding and I love to cherish those moments making eye contact and listening to the sweet noises my Silas makes as he nourishes himself. So I can not justify feeding him while I catch up on blogs or facebook status updates...

So while I can not break away from my computer entirely, I will continue to only be on here when all three of my sweet babies are fast asleep. I will no longer have them contend with my computer....

And now, I am off to sort through the boys toys and then to bed, I am still TV free :)

Turn off your TV! This is Digital Detox Week!!

2010-04-18T12:40:00.007-04:00

April 19-25 is TV TURNOFF WEEK! and as Adbusters takes it a step further and declares it Digital Detox Week"! (sorry the image I 'borrowed' was last years dates..)

As far as TV, well, we do not watch TV. We own an old TV set which is in the spare bedroom on the 3rd floor. It is used for the kids to watch VHS and DVD's. But we do not have cable or local channels. We have been TV free for over a year now.

Now I do watch House, Fringe and The Middle online and my husband and I watch The Office online together and we are big fans of Netflix. So we are not essentially TV free. But it is a big step from not having cable. So turning off the TV for a week is easy for us.

My children, who watch at least one movie a day, will not think it is easy. But I think they will be able to do it and will be ok without watching videos after a few days, especially with the nice weather, we will be spending our time outdoors.

However, I will admit I am hooked on the computer. I am a facebook, flickr, Etsy, blog reading addict, so for me to Detox from it all for a whole week is going to be hard. I told my husband I will be "attempting" this, he corrected me saying that was no way to go into it, thinking it it will be an "attempt", so I am re-wording it to I WILL BE DOING THIS! See I have made some lousy attempts at kicking my computer addiction and came crawling back to turn it on just hours later...finding one excuse or another to log in.

One downfall is my photography business and client emails. I am booking clients for May when I return to work, so not answering my email could be a problem. I will have an auto reply message on my email directing potential clients to call me on the phone rather communicate via email. I think in turn this may actually be a good thing. So often I only communicate with clients via email until the day we meet for the session. I think it would be nice to actually speak with them before then! :) You know, the phone, where you actually talk to people and not text :)

Speaking of the phone, I hate my cell phone. I am kind of a phone-phobic, I cringe when it rings. So technically with this detox I should not use my phone, which is fine with me, but I will keep it on b/c it is our only phone. But I will not be texting, not that I text a lot to begin with. And it is not a fancy phone, I can't even get picture messages so I definitely can not get online with it :)

Wish me luck, I may not do it and be back here posting in a short time about my failures :) Or hopefully I will be back in a week telling about how awesome it was to kick the habit and in turn be on my computer less and less.

So as much as I would like to beg everyone I know to do the same, chances are NO ONE I know will actually attempt this. Everyone will think it is stupid or find one reason or another to not even try. I do think Turning off the TV for a week is something EVERYONE needs to attempt, but I don;t think many, or like I said, ANYONE (that I know anyways) will Digital Detox for a week...so I will save my 'breath'... but if you are planning to ;attempt' to do either I would love to hear about it!! Please leave a comment!

A walk into the woods....

2010-04-18T12:15:00.014-04:00

This by far is my favorite past time. Being a tree-hugger at heart, spending a day in the forest with my family is just a perfect day.

I meant to post this last week after our adventure at one of our favorite trails in the woods of an old growth forest but I forgot to. Around western PA, old growth trees are hard to come by, because in the early 1900's they were all cut down. However Bushy Run was preserved because it was a battlefield where the British fought the Native Americans in 1763. So although I love this place, I can't help to think about the violent deaths that took place here...

I am a firm believer in letting children explore, and this is just what my boys do when we are here. We let them navigate us through the many trails and let them climb trees, cross logs and get dirty :)
(sam loves spring beauties)

My husband and I also enjoyed searching for wild edibles, AKA as weeds to most people :)
We picked wild leeks, spring beauties and wild violets to add to our pasta salad picnic lunch!

One Month Old!

2010-04-18T11:32:00.014-04:00

Time is slipping by just too fast, this precious little being will be in our lives One Month come this Tuesday...

He is getting better with eye contact..I love when we just sit in the quiet and gaze into each others eyes...I melt when I am nursing him and he stares so deeply into my eyes.

Have I mentioned how much I love breastfeeding? :)

Although I was sensitive the first couple of weeks and it was a bit painful, it is not nearly as painful now. With the exception of when my milk 'lets down'. It is more uncomfortable than I remember with my other two babies, but it is not that bad, just a strong pinching feeling.

I really try to make nursing time our special time of sitting in a comfy chair in the quiet, I want to savor these moments. Of course there are times where he gets fed on the go, literally, like when I am walking I nurse him in the wrap or sling. This is how he ate on our trip to the zoo the other day and a couple of days ago when he was having a restless afternoon and wanted to nurse all day. I went into supermom multi-task mode and he nursed in the wrap while I did dishes and got dinner ready :)

He spends so much of the day close to me in his sling or wrap and I cherish this time. He will only be this tiny for a short amount of time and as he gets bigger he will be in the sling less and less. I have BIG babies who tend to get heavy, FAST :) But when he is bigger I can;t wait to wear him in our Boba Carrier!

I also love having him snuggle right next to me each night. Smelling his sweet little head, feeling his tiny warm body next to mine. Co-sleeping is a beautiful thing :) I love the convenience of just rolling over and nursing him. Co-sleeping is not for everyone, but personally, my heart aches at the thought of putting him in a crib all alone, let alone a bedroom all alone. Granted some babies prefer to sleep alone, but mine never did.

I love that my husband loves co-sleeping as much as I do, however he works night shifts and is not there all night. But when he comes home in the morning he gets in bed to snuggle with us and there are times during the day, when he is sleeping, I will tuck the baby in next to him while he naps.

We co-slept with our other boys, Max until he was almost 4 and Sam until he was 2.5 and then he shared a bed with Max in his room. Although for one year, all four of us shared a bed when we remodeled our home and bedroom. We had two mattresses on the floor in the boys bedroom :)

We also finally got into the cloth diaper stash! My Mom-in-law had bought us a few package of 7th Generation Newborn diapers that I wanted to use before he outgrew, and he was just too small for most of the cloth we bought. I did buy a few newborn size cloth from Etsy, but after one week he was already too big for them!

I have a lot of cloth diapers, most are still a bit big and bulky on him, especially the AIO one size fits all type. But I have some small Gdiapers that fit him perfectly! They are so cute and so far no leaks! I am using the washable inserts vs. the flushable/disposable/compostable ones. And I have 6 in size Medium that he will be wearing very soon! This chubby guy has already gained 3.5 ponds in almost a month! He never lost any weight like most newborns do.

I also love hanging them on the line to dry :) It has encouraged me to hang all of our clothes out to dry!

Which reminds me! Tomorrow is National Hanging out Day! Hang your clothes out to dry tomorrow and every laundry day!

{this moment}..a trip to the zoo

2010-04-16T09:15:00.005-04:00

Inspired by Soule Mama

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

Brothers

2010-04-09T19:25:00.007-04:00

I took a few photos of my boys today, it involved some bribery and chocolate!

Sammy and Silas

Max and sweet Silas

And a self portrait of me and my little peanut.

I can not believe he is 15 days old already! The days are just flying by, but I am treasuring every moment with my little baby. He is almost always being worn in the sling, in my arms or lying in my lap or napping on Daddies chest. He eats often and is really gaining weight! He grew a 2nd chin this week! I chose to not go to our 2 week appointment with our pediatrician to find out his weight, mostly because I know he is thriving and doing well! But I am going to weigh him on my mailing scale later just so I know what he weighs :)

In Baby Bliss

2010-03-30T08:22:00.012-04:00

I did a mini photo session with my sweet Silas yesterday!

Although he slept well, it was not all that easy because I am still not at my regular energy level. He pooped and peed on most of my blankets too :) But I am sure there are many many more photo sessions to come with him! Hoping to get some with his brothers very soon.

Today I am venturing out of the house with my three boys, solo. My older guys have gymnastics and they missed the last 3 sessions, so we are going today. My husband has a long dentist appointment so he can not join us! I will take a wrap or a sling, which Silas loves to be in, and we may be really brave and go to our food co-op for lunch. Friday we are taking Silas to his 1st playgroup playdate at the park! The weather is going to be gorgeous this week!

Everything has been going great in our 1st week as parents to three. He sleeps so well and when he is not sleeping he is calmly awake taking it all in. I love to just hold and stare at his sweet face all day long. He smiles so much in his sleep too.

Breastfeeding is going really well. I plan to post on this later, discussing the pain I have gone through, pain I don;t remember so much with my other boys, and my annoying quest for the perfect nursing bras and tops.

I have sooo much milk though I feel like I am overfeeding the poor guy! He poops and pees all day long! He has already grown a double chin :) I am uncomfortably engorged as I type and regretting not buying up a pump...so off to take a warm shower and looking forward to getting out in the sunshine!

And for those that like birth stories, I am almost done with his, will probably post tomorrow! I have been really limiting my time here on the computer, as I do not want to spare any precious moments I could be spending gazing at my sweet baby....oh, and those other kids too :P

Wishing you all a beautiful day!

Life is Good :)

2010-03-27T17:09:00.009-04:00

I am still working on reliving the epic birth story of Mr. Silas Avery:)

We decided on a middle name, Matt picked that too :)

But in the meantime I am trying to be good and take it easy. I am not so good at the resting, I should know by baby #3 how important resting is... I am still sore and quite crampy but in complete baby bliss.

We have had MANY visitors and repeat visitors in the last few days. All were more than welcome to come meet Silas, as I know they were quite anxious too, but it did leave me a bit exhausted.

But I am thankful they all came and more than grateful for all the gorgeous flowers and gifts and treats they brought!

And resting is a bit harder when your husband, who meant well by taking the kids to the skate park to give me a rest, sprained his ankle and had to go to the ER last night...oy vey, were both laid up now :)

Silas had a pediatrician appointment yesterday. I dreaded taking my 2.5 day old baby out into the world to be stripped and examined on a cold table, but we did well. He only lost 1 oz from birth and everything else is fine. He lost his umbilicle cord stump already at the Dr. office. She cleaned it up and said it is fine, my other boys had theirs over a week though. But I am glad to not have to mess with it.

He is nursing like a champ and my milk (and my porn sized boobs:) came in. I am a bit uncomfortably engorged, but it is getting better with frequent feedings, warm showers and cabbage leaves. It is quite painful when he latches still, but I am toughening up.

His eyes are a bit jaundice, like my other babies, but nothing a little nursing in the sun by the window will not cure.

Not long ago Matt and I were just gazing at him in baby bliss and he made the biggest smile ever, I was so happy we both caught that moment....and then a moment later he peed and projectile pooped on me :)

Not crazy about this pic Max took, but it shows how exhausted I am :)

And proud Daddy resting his ankle.

The [EPIC] Birth of Silas Avery

2010-03-27T13:59:00.039-04:00

(me 9 months pregnant)

Just days after conceiving in early June of 2009, I knew I was pregnant. In all honesty, this was surprise baby #3. We never planned any of our pregnancies, but please do not mistaken these as unwanted in any way. My husband and I practice the rhythm method of birth control, and there are times we are being risky and we know it. I know my body and my cycles and know when we are close to days of possible conception. So lets just say I was kinda wanting another baby :)

I had a few pregnancy tests from about 6 months earlier when I thought I was pregnant, but found out I wasn't before I used them. It was a busy morning the day I took it to confirm I was indeed pregnant. The kids were getting dressed, my husband was in the shower...I just strolled in and sat on the toilet and peed on the stick and held it up to my husband. He was really taken by surprise, but of course we were both overcome with joy...ok, and a bit of panic about having a 3rd baby!

Like my other two pregnancies I was easily tired and had morning/day sickness for 12 weeks. At about 14 weeks I made my 1st midwife appointment and knew we would have our baby around the Spring Equinox, March 20th. The rest of my pregnancy was uneventful, I marvelled at my growing belly and was super anxious to meet him or her. We elected to not have a sonogram and therefor did not know the sex. Matt really did not want to find out, I kind of did but decided a surprise would be nice.

(just after we arrived at the birthing center)

(warning, I labored for 22 hours, 12 hours were hardcore labor, this may be a long story!)

On Monday night/early Tuesday morning at 2 am I awoke with a contraction. It was strong enough to make me think that at two days past my estimated due date (just like my other boys)...this may be the beginning of real labor and that I should rest. I fell asleep to have another at 2:30 and then they came every 20 minutes or so and I tried to sleep in between them.

At 8:30 am they were 15 minutes apart and I was growing anxious and unable to sleep through them. My boys woke up and bounded down the stairs and I set them up with breakfast and a movie in their room so I could continue to labor downstairs.

At 10:30 I woke Matt up and told him this was it, they were 10 minutes apart. He immediately jumped out of bed and we got ready to go. I called the midwife and we agreed it was no rush and we would meet at the freestanding Birthing Center at 1:00. Matt was nervous so when his mother arrived to stay with the boys we left a little early at 11:45.

I was hungry and Matt went to Dunkin Donuts for me to get me bagels with cream cheese :) Not something he would ordinarily do for me as he is anti all fast food in any way, but he did this time for me. And even went in b/c the window in our Honda would not go down. I had a contraction in the car waiting as they were now coming every 8 minutes.

Thankfully we missed rush hour going into the city, but I still could not help but curse and then apologize to my dear husband as he hit bumps during contractions. And PA is known for the worst roads after a hard winter, so the bumps were almost constant!

Amusingly we both had to pee very bad! Matt was seriously bouncing in his seat within blocks of the Center, and haha, he actually pulled over 2 blocks away to pee in a bottle he could not wait anymore, I teased him about his water breaking and swore at him for bouncing the car up on to a curb when he pulled over.

At 12:30 we arrived and you have to be buzzed into the building, they asked who it was, I said, "Mary Beth, I am having a baby". When they buzzed me in I darted to the back bedroom where I planned to birth and ran to the bathroom, the nurse thought the baby was coming out and ran in behind me. I told her I just had to pee really bad!

The midwife on duty, Kara, and her nurse Vanessa came to see how I was. They watched me get contractions every 2-3 minutes and thought I was close and said it was a good thing I came when I did. At 1:00 when they checked me I was only 4 cm and 50% effaced.

I was crushed. With my last baby I was 10 cm when I arrived, I expected to hear at least 6 or even 8 for as strong and close the contractions were.

The other midwife on call, Lori arrived after doing rounds at the local hospital and came in to see how I was progressing. She did not want to check me again but asked if I wanted to stay or go back home, I decided to stay. I live 30 minutes from the center and did not want to risk delivering in the car coming back!

(breathing through a contraction with banana in my mouth)

At 2:00 I got in the jacuzzi to ease the contractions that were still coming every 2 minutes.

At 3:00 we decided to try walking around. I went up and down the steps in the center and then we went outside. It was blustery and rainy but we huddled together under an umbrella and walked very slowly along the city blocks. Me in my hoodie, sweats and flip flops, Matt in loafers and flannel PJ pants. We had to stop for me to lean on cold brick walls and office building doorways while I breathed and yelled through contractions. Quite a sight to see I am sure. :) It was really odd to be laboring right on the sidewalk in the city.

I decided I was hungry again, and the bag of fruit we brought was not enough so we got in the car to go to the health food store a few blocks away. I labored in the car and cursed at Matt when he came back for taking so long. He ran into people he knew and was explaining what we were up to.

At 4:00 we went back to the Center to eat the squash soup and rolls Matt got, I ate between contractions 2 minutes apart. The food made me very nauseated with bad heartburn.

At 5pm they checked again, still 4-5 centimeters, more devastation. I could not believe it. He was not dropping, they could not break my water b/c he was not low enough...but I had been laboring so hard....I was already so very tired.

(the birthing ball was a big help!)

6:30 pm, Six centimeters. Progressing, but slowly. I was so exhausted already. Dozing between contractions and swearing and moaning during them.

At 7 pm the midwives changed shifts, Lisa left and Nancy came in. My nurses also changed and Jamie was my new nurse. They were both so wonderful while I labored. Stroking my arms, massaging my back, putting cool cloths on my head, giving me sips of ice water...I was so thankful they were present. Matt was also an amazing labor partner as always. He rubbed my back and tried to keep me relaxed.

Around 8 pm I got back in the jacuzzi, the loud sound it made distracted me a bit during the very strong contractions. I was so exhausted I actually fell into a deep enough sleep in 1-2 minutes between contractions to dream. Every time another contraction would come, my limp hand would emerge from the water for Matt to hold and let me squeeze his hand. I would awake and come back to reality, to the moment and try to get through the next contraction. When the contraction ended my arm and hand would drop back into the water. I labored in the jacuzzi for what seemed like hours. I felt like i was in a meditative trance like state while I was in there. When I finally decided before getting out that I wanted narcotics, they told me it was too late, it was time to push.

I finally got out and made it to the bed and laid on my back. The midwife then was able to break my waters by just barely touching the sac while I had a contraction. This was very painful and I think I yelled at her but the baby dropped down just after she broke my water. So then I began trying to push. I was feeling pretty sick and would throw up a little bit after each contraction. It was near impossible for me to get in a good push, Matt and the nurse had to hold my legs up and back, I just could not do it, I was exhausted.

It was so different than 4 years earlier, in this very same room, when I delivered my 2nd son Sam. I did not have that super woman strength or motivation this time around.

It was very painful for me on my back, because like my other babies, this one was posterior, so they had me get on all fours on the bed. When your baby is posterior, facing the wrong direction, it causes you to have very bad back labor. I barely had the energy to hold myself up on my hands and knees. I cried pretty hard and then threw up a lot. I really was having a hard time at this point. I remember banging the top of my head on the headboard during contractions, trying to displace the pain and distract myself, and some out of frustration.
I would look Nancy, my midwife, in the eye, and tell her I just could not go on, I could not do this. I begged to just be able to go to sleep, for it all to just end. But they all cheered me, told me I could, and I had to. The midwife then asked if I wanted to try the birthing stool. (a U shaped stool)

Matt sat behind me on the bed and I leaned on him for support while I sat on the stool. I was digging my elbows into his thighs, but he beared through it and gave me the physical and emotional support I needed to get the baby out.

I pushed for over an hour while on the birthing stool when the baby finally dropped down far enough that they could see his head. Hearing this news gave me the 2nd wind I needed to get my baby out and into my arms. My midwife asked if I wanted to feel his head, I didn't with my other two babies, so this time I was eager too.

(I think that maybe I started pushing too soon, in reflection, I wished I had waited longer, but at the time I just wanted the baby out so bad)

After feeling his warm and wrinkly head full of hair I felt this incredible surge of energy. I pushed really good 3-4 times for each of the next few contractions....I also screamed like a wild woman when he finally began to emerge. My, for lack of better words, butt hurt so bad that I kept screaming this to my midwife. There was not really the ring of fire pain, but such incredible pressure I thought I would burst open. I know I screamed louder than with Sam's birth. I had this feeling that I had lost all control and didn't remain as calm as I did with Sam.

His head finally emerged and two pushes later his shoulders and the rest of his beautiful little body was born at 11:30 pm.

Unlike my other births, I did not cry when I finally pulled my sweet baby to my chest, but my dear husband did. It's not that I didn't feel the same overwhelming emotions, I was just so very exhausted. I also didn't even think to see if "it" was a boy or a girl until 2-3 minutes after he was born. I finally peeked and and then was hit with beautiful floods of emotion as I told my husband we had another boy! I knew this all along, maybe it was intuition, but I just knew my entire pregnancy that we would have another boy.

When he first came out he did not cry immediately and was a purple-blue color. After a minute he finally let out some cries and pinked up immediately. (I was happy to learn the midwives do not believe in sucking that baby with the suction ball, they think this is unneccesary and uncomfortable and baby will clear that out on his own)

I slid back on the bed and laid my sweet boy on my chest and my husband and I just gazed at him while I put him to my breast to nurse. He latched on and nursed eagerly.

They cut the cord after it stopped pulsating, about 20 minutes after he was born. (this is very important!) Matt chose to not cut it, just like the other times, as this is a little too much for him :) My placenta delivered very soon after with just one push. It helped that the baby was nursing which makes it easier. I was happy and surprised to hear I did not tear at all! We got to check out the placenta and cord, which is just an amazing thing to me, to see what nourished and held my baby for the last nine months. We also brought it home. I took a piece and made a homeopathic tincture ( http://www.placentalremedy.com/ ) and we will be burying the rest under a newly planted tree in a few weeks.

After letting us bond for those early moments, the midwife and nurse came to check Silas out to make sure everything seemed ok. The beautiful thing about birthing here, rather than a hospital, is they do this while he is still laying on your chest. There is no whisking away of the baby to clean, weigh, examine, ink, etc. The baby lays with you for as long as you want until you are ready to let them weigh him. With my hospital birth with my 1st son, I was so upset by this, I hated that his first moments of life were him on a table screaming his little head off while they did all that too him, I wanted him to be with me so very bad!

A few hours later, when I was ready, we found out he weighed 7lb and 4 oz, 21 inches long. Exactly what my husband guessed. Matt told me he really wanted to name him Silas and I agreed. Silas means of the forest or man of the forest, which is very fitting for our tree hugging, outdoor loving lifestyle.

(Daddy giving Silas skin contact warmth while I showered)

It was after midnight and I was ready to sleep, but 1st I got up to get a shower. Although I was exhausted, I still felt wonderful. While I showered and Matt rocked the baby, my nurse changed the bedding and then left us peacefully to rest. Silas slept between Matt and I until 5 am when I awoke, energized and ready to go home. I was a bit sore, but nothing like my hospital birth when I had an episiotomy. This time I just felt like I ran a marathon the day before.

They made me English muffins with peanut butter and jelly, as I requested. At the Center, they will make you anything you desire after you deliver! All good healthy food, donated by Whole Foods.

At 7am we all got dressed and ready to go home. The discharge nurse came in to check our vitals and to get Silas's foot prints and finished up some paperwork.

(just before we left to go home)

(Silas, 6 hours old)

The nurse walked us to the car and Matt and I headed home to introduce our sweet new baby to his big brothers and his Grandma and Ya-ya.

(I have done birth photography for two clients, and debated while I was pregnant to let a photographer friend document this birth. I decided in the end that I did not want to. Mostly b/c it is such an intimate setting at the Midwife Center. Just a midwife, a nurse and my husband and I in a small dark bedroom. If it were a hospital birth I would have asked her to come. These are photos my husband and I took. There are not many, and the quality is really bad b/c it was dark and I did not want a flash, but I am still pleased with the few memories he captured. I also chose to not video this birth, like I did with Sam and Max's.)

Now almost 20 days later as I reflect on this birth, I have to ask myself, if I were to do it again, would I go drug free? At first I thought I was no longer an advocate for an all natural birth, but after that sweet baby was laid on my chest I knew I would and could do it again. We do not plan on an "again", but if it should happen, I will most definitely go drug free, and AT HOME!!

I loved my experiences with the midwives at the birthing center, but I also would love to have a home birth. I let Matt talk me out of it this time around, mostly because he was so nervous about it, and financially we could not make it work, as we would have had to pay a large sum of cash vs. our insurance covering it all. But IF there is a next time, I will be laboring and birthing in the comfort of my own home :)

IT'S A BOY!

2010-03-24T12:41:00.006-04:00

Baby Silas was born at 11:30 pm last night (3/23) after 20 hours of intense drug free labor!

Weighing in at 7lb 4oz and 21 inches long.

I let my husband name him and although I was not crazy about it at first it is growing on me. I get to choose the middle name, but have yet to pick one :)

I will post a birth story later when I am rested. Not that many may want to hear it! I don't think I want to relive it! Lets just say I may no longer be an advocate for a drug free birth!

We are home and resting and Silas is only 13 hours old and nursing like a champ :)

Nesting and Crafting...

2010-03-22T10:46:00.012-04:00

Just wanted to share some of the projects I had worked on through the last trimester of my pregnancy. I am not normally a very crafty person...I can thread a sewing machine and do the basics, but was proud of myself for some of my projects.

It all started with obsessing over the adorable bib and burp cloth sets I saw on Etsy. So I thought, maybe I can make them? I made quite a few sets, some for me and I gifted a few.

Then I wanted a boppy cover in the same pattern...

And then decided a small diaper tote should not be too hard...

And then I really wanted to put this fun fabric to use and really tested my skills with this bag, which I LOVE and learned much more about sewing in the process...like basting and pleating...

And since I am a babywearing Mama who can never have enough carriers, I made a few more ring slings to add to my collection!

Then the boys and I did a few projects together...

And one of my bigger projects, which left me a bit exhausted with sewing...

I reupholstered my glider rocker. I got it for a shower gift with my 1st baby so it was, well Loved :)

In addition to all the crafting I did my fair share of organizing, getting rid of things, tossing, donating, cleaning and rearranging during my nesting period. I have not felt like nesting much this last week...think that part is done :)

Cooking, well I have not done more than heated spaghetti sauce or whipped up a pot of oatmeal as I have been avoiding the kitchen...thankfully I have a super fabulous husband who likes to nourish his family :)

Baby update....I had contractions all night, every 1/2 hour or so, now they are every 15-20 minutes and last about 30 seconds each...but not sure if they will continue and result in real labor today...

I had a dream I had the baby, it shot right out onto the floor! It was super tiny, I think a girl, and seemed ok and I breastfed it...then it turned into a doll...

"If a robin flies into a room through a window, death will shortly follow."

2010-03-22T10:06:00.013-04:00

"A bird in the house is a sign of a death. If a robin flies into a room through a window, death will shortly follow." from here

WHAT!! I really should not have googled that!!! :( now I am kinda freaking out....I kinda want to cry...I'm not all that superstitious...ok, maybe a bit...damn bird!!

I am nervous enough about the birth of this baby that I DID NOT NEED TO READ THAT! I am just a tad bit superstitious, I come from some very superstitious people, my mom and especially her Dad.... DAMN BIRD!

Matt came down the steps this morning to tell me a bird was in the fireplace in our bedroom. So I follow him up and yes, there was yet another bird trapped in the fireplace...

We have an antique window there, for decoration, and to prevent birds in the bedroom! This is I think the 3rd one since we remodeled the bedroom and exposed the fireplace which was all plastered over. Think we need to put a screen on the chimney...

I hid in the hallway and peeked in at the poor thing smashing off the ceiling and floor...it finally saw the open window and flew out. Matt remained calm...much calmer than when we used to get bats in our old 3rd floor attic apartment :) Then, he screamed like a girl and hid under blankets, shh, I didn;t tell you that!

But I will put it out of my head, the bad omen of the bird in the room, besides, it did not fly into an open window, it fell down the chimney! Thinking happy positive thoughts about our morning visitor...

And no, no signs of labor...does not feel like a baby plans to arrive today :)

D-DAY!

2010-03-21T10:34:00.012-04:00

So apparantly my baby has not seen this... :)

Pregnancy Tickers from WiddlyTinks.com

Today is my "estimated" due date. I understand it is just an estimation and some babies stay put for close to 42 weeks, but it is hard to have a date set in your mind for NINE long months to only go to bed feeling overly anxious and a bit disappointed that baby is not quite ready yet.

My midwife told me the 3rd baby is a wild card, to not assume baby will come as scheduled or that baby will just shoot right out :) My sister told me yesterday her 3rd baby was 17 days late!

I am trying to be patient. I am trying to enjoy these last few days of pregnancy, as this will most likely be my last. But I am so anxious to meet this baby and bring him or her into the world! I am overly anticipating the moment my husband announces whether it is a boy or a girl!

I think maybe baby Miller X knows we have yet to choose a name. I have been making lists, my husband and I toss ideas around daily, but we have yet to settle on a few concrete names for a boy or a girl!

This morning, my sweet 4 yo Sammy came to cuddle with me when he woke up. He can be a bit feisty at times and an obsessive booger picker, but he still loves to cuddle with me and he LOVES my belly. He tells me more than a few times a day I am "beautiful" and the "bestest girl ever", he melts my heart. This morning he asked when this baby was coming, and that he did not want the baby to come yet b/c he loved my big beautiful belly. :)

Today my super wonderful mother in law, (yes, I love her and we get along better than my own mother and I) is taking my boys for the afternoon and my husband and I are having a lunch date. I always envy the couples I know that have regular dates with their husbands. My man and I RARELY get away sans kids. We really enjoy being around them, go figure :) and when they are gone, we feel lost without them.

I do think it is important that we make a better effort to get out together alone, so when he came in from work at 6am and woke me with a kiss and his idea of a lunch date, I was so excited. Just hoping if baby does decide to come today, (s)he lets me have my dessert first! And although your supposed to not talk about kids on your date, we may have to settle on some names over our meal!

I feel like baby has dropped, thinking that might have to do with all the walking I have been doing. (S)he is no longer restricting my breathing. And as anxious as I am to have another drug free birth, I do hold a small amount of fear. This could be due to the fact that I watched Sammy's birth video a few weeks ago. Bad idea, I much prefer the memories I had of it being "easy" and "fast"....haha, the memory is a bit different that the reality of the video!

And although my midwives are not likely to have me admitted to induce labor in any way, I like to remind myself with articles like this one, that baby will come when baby is ready and I do not need to be induced in any way. Although if I do not deliver by weeks end, I will be trying all the old skool methods that may or may not work :)

Here is the link to my self portrait pregnancy series. I need to do one more silhouette for 40 weeks so I can create some type of story board...

Happy Sunday to everyone! I hope the weather is as gorgeous where you are, as it will be today here in Pittsburgh!

Happy Spring!!

2010-03-19T17:22:00.002-04:00

"And Spring arose on the garden fair, Like the Spirit of Love felt everywhere; And each flower and herb on Earth's dark breast rose from the dreams of its wintry rest". ~Percy Bysshe Shelley, "The Sensitive Plant"

“When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege
it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.”
- Marcus Aurelius

Oh, and meet our friend Tango :)
My 4yo son named him yesterday. He is fearless and will come up to your feet for a treat :)

Photos from Spring Past...

2010-03-19T09:32:00.010-04:00

I cannot wait until the buds begin to bloom!!

(ok, my pics are cut off a bit...still trying to figure out how to size them right, I;m new to this blogging stuff!)

And some new baby birds I was able to capture...hoping mama bird nests here again :) Nice and low in a bush for me to peek in!

Playgroup Fun in the Sun!

2010-03-18T07:15:00.007-04:00

I just cannot get over how beautiful the weather has been! Yesterday I met up with my Mommy group, the three best woman and Mommies in my life and combined we have eight awesome kids...make that almost 9 :) Ages 1 month to 6.5, all boys and one gorgeous girly girl to keep them all in check! Well, now 2 girls, but she is the infant....hopefully it will soon be 3 girls :)

Our Lil Rascals :)

We hung out at the park for three hours! It was too nice to go home and the kids were having so much fun and getting some much needed sun and Vitamin D :)
They seemed to reach a point of getting so loud I almost found myself hushing them....then I realized we were outside and this is what they were supposed to be doing, being kids and just going wild :)

My super fabulous husband rode his bike to the park to meet up with us and then took the six older kids on two different long hikes down onto the park trails into the woods while us Mommies got to sit and chat it up.

He showed them onion grass, ant hills, groundhog holes and buds emerging from the wild berry bushes. We are nature lovers and Matt really enjoys sharing this with kids. I want to go on and on about how amazingly grateful I am for my husband, but I have decided to make a separate post for him in the near future. :) He deserves one of his very own!

One of my favorite pics of him, I really need to take more :)

I would have loved to join them on their hike, but baby was dropping yesterday and I was feeling a lot of pressure and pain.

Me and my friends baby Milo, he fit perfectly on my belly :)

I also got a few shots of his 1st ride on the swings :)

It is just amazing at how sunshine and warmth can really lift your spirits, to clear the gray moodiness of winter, to clear your head and make everyone smile. I am grateful for this weather, grateful for good friends. And grateful this pregnancy is coming to an end :) I am so ready and so anxious to meet this little one! Now if only we had a name(s) for him/her! Thankfully the midwife center I will be delivering in allows you to leave w/o naming baby...well they give you a few days :)

Here is one of my last belly pics! I am headed to an appointment with my midwife, I am hoping this is the last until she is actually catching this baby!

Planning to go to the park again today with the boys. We're going to stop at the food co-op and grab lunch to have a picnic in the park on another gorgeous day!

Spring is in the air! It's a good week to have a baby! :)

2010-03-16T08:18:00.019-04:00

I was so super geeked to see the forecast! Here in Pittsburgh, and like many other places this year, we had a long, cold and snowy winter and I am quite pleased to bid it farewell!

However, in Pittsburgh it normally does not jump right into warmth and sunshine, we have weeks and months of gray and wet weather. The sun disappears for long days at a time and you just have to keep telling yourself "April showers bring May flowers..."

But it is still warm enough to do some puddle jumping! I have no problem letting my guys get dirty :)

(This is last year of my son (the blonde) and the lil guy I used to watch)

But we are going to have a few gorgeous days before the rain returns to nourish the earth and get those buds blooming. My husband and I plan to take the kids to the park today (a joy of homeschooling and a dh that works nightshift :) and I plan to walk as much as my body will let me and maybe get this labor ball rolling! I'd love to bring a new baby home while the sun is shining! However, I am hoping to not have a baby tomorrow, not keen on having a St. Patty's Day baby, maybe if I were Irish....I am quite an ethnic mutt, but no Irish in my blood, well not that I know of :)

Yesterday I attempted to relieve my hip and lower back pains and maybe get baby moving :) I have been slacking in my prenatal yoga, but still pleased I could pull off downward dog and it felt great!

And this is my big guy Sam, who just turned 4, he cannot walk past me without touching, hugging or kissing The Belly, he is going to really miss it, I hope he likes the new baby just as much :)

And until baby comes I am 'trying' to be patient and at peace with the fact that he or she will come when they are good and ready. Keyword there is trying, because if you ask my sweet husband, who waits on me hand and foot and massages my feet and back daily and tucks me in at 7 pm, I have become quite the whiner this last week.
I try to do a daily meditation of sorts where I talk to the baby....talk him or her into joining us out here :)

Oh, to add, I am so not into seeing myself in pictures, as a photographer I'd much rather be on the other side of the camera. But regretfully with my 1st 2 pregnancies I only have a couple from each where I look large and miserable, so with this pregnancy, which may very well be my last, I really tried to document it a bit better with a self portrait series. Let me tell you how at 9 and 3/4 months this is not easy without a remote! I use the 10 second timer...I am sure this would be amusing for anyone to watch...

The waiting game....

2010-03-14T10:19:00.015-04:00

(The nursery...rather a corner of our bedroom :)

Ok, after many many nights of lying in bed and publishing my blog in my head, I finally published a few entries and am just going to get this blog rolling. I will no longer wait until I have it looking perfect, but just go with it as is until I find the time to do so :) I will quit doubting that no one out there gives a poo to what I have to say :)

My 1st entries are the birth stories of baby #1 (hospital drug induced) and baby #2 (all natural at a midwife center). Sorry they are so long, but this is also my way of preserving those memories, even though they are also recorded :)

So, this morning, I am sitting here at my computer, uncomfortable and feeling huge, but mostly feeling quite anxious. Today marks 39 weeks of pregnancy with baby #3. I am done waiting and so ready to meet baby X :) We not only do not know the sex but we have yet to decide on names!

Yes, this is the giant belly in all it's glory, stretch marks, giant veins and amusingly enlarged tattoo (that I got at 18 when I was "VERY SURE" I did not want to have children...hahahaha).

We do not know the sex of this baby as we opted to not have an Ultrasound this time around. Do I regret this decision? Some days, yes, very much. The anticipation of not knowing weather we're having another awesome son or the new joy in having a daughter kills me, but most days I am content with going along with my husbands idea to wait.

Some days, the decision to not have an ultrasound weighs heavily on me. Not the part of not knowing the sex, but with my 1st two babies it was a huge 'peace of mind' knowing all was ok with baby. Organs as they should be etc. And especially since I will not be birthing in a hospital, rather a freestanding birth center, made that decision a bit harder...the big WHAT IF is always in the back of my head. But my husband and I thought long and hard about skipping the US and I am still ok with our decision to forego it. My mommy instincts tell me my baby is well.

I actually do not let many people know we never had an US, like many of our parenting and lifestyle choices, some things are just easier unsaid to friends and family. I used to feel the need to get on my soapbox to spread the word about why we choose one thing over another. However, after many personal attacks on our decisions, I feel "to each his own" and we will continue to do what feels right for OUR family and avoid the confrontations I often found myself in with loved ones and strangers.

In the future I will probably post reasons as to why we skipped this "normal" procedure, or reasons to many of our "unconventional" or "non-mainstream" lifestyle choices.

For instance, why we choose to not circumsize our boys, or to not vaccinate. To co-sleep, extended breast feed, cloth diaper and wear our babies. Or why we avoid conventional western medications and treatments, why we RARELY see a Dr. and use herbs and homeopathics to treat the minor illnesses or injuries we rarely get.

Why we lead a some-what strict vegetarian/whole foods/and almost 100% organic lifestyle. (We were long time vegans who recently began giving our boys raw milk and free range local eggs and husband was a raw foodist for a few years...)
Why we are a chemical free household (cleaning and body products etc are all natural) and how I honestly despise artificial scents and perfumes...

Why I am a Thrift store Queen who hates to buy anything new if I can avoid it, why we are quite minimalistic in what we own. Why we do not let money and material items rule our lives. Why I choose local and handmade (I LOVE ETSY) over big box stores. Or why we home/unschool our children...

Ok, I guess there are many reasons that make us a unique family, but each family is unique in their own way....in the weeks to come I may elaborate a bit more on each, but I do not want to focus my blog on such things, but such things are just our normal way of life.

And back to the original topic, I was afraid if I blogged I would ramble and get side tracked...but it is a;; about my scatterbrained thoughts...

Oh, yes, the waiting. I know baby will come when baby is ready and a due date is just an estimation. A baby may come at 36 weeks or 42 weeks, but I am soo ready for this baby! I can not wait to hold him or her in my arms!

I have nested like mad, washed and folded all the tiny clothes and cloth diapers, we have our sitters on call and bags packed and car seat strapped...now, we WAIT.

As anxious as I am I also hold some fear for the birth, which is completely normal. I hope and pray all goes as planned like with the natural birth of my Sammy. But I have to hold a spot in my head that I may end up in a hospital and my birthing plan will go out the window. But I will remain positive that it will go as I imagine :)

Maxwell's Birth Story

2010-02-04T12:14:00.012-05:00

(Sorry this is long and detailed, it is also my way of preserving this memory!)

In March of 2003 I found out we were expecting our 1st baby. It was a bittersweet moment of panic while I held the pregnancy test in my hand while I sat on the bathroom floor with Matt (my boyfriend) on the other side of the door begging me to open it.
I came out with tears streaming down my face, but I was also smiling ear to ear, and he was too.

Matt and I had been together for 8 years, living together 6 of those years. I was in a bad place when I got pregnant...emotionally a mess, crying many hours of the day, emotional breakdowns, very depressed, hating my job and had a general distaste for life and unsure of my future. The long painful cancerous death of my father 6 years prior was still resonating within, I was still not over it...or all of the other issues from childhood, I just could not get past it all...

I was becoming self destructive and careless, experimenting with new drugs and drinking maybe too often, hanging with the wrong people and treating my boyfriend like crap. Of course when I became pregnant I stopped all of that immediately and my entire outlook on life did a complete 180 in a matter of a moment. There was now hope. There was love. I found myself under all the self pity and gray clouds and prepared myself for the future as a mother. I could not help but smiling as I looked at the pregnancy test. This pregnancy may have very well saved my life.

We were living in a 1br, 3rd floor, attic apartment, but I was content with staying here for a while, this was my home. My 1st place not living with my Dad. We decided to stay here and there would be plenty of room to bring a baby home to.

Being young and naive, I did not know there were alternatives to OBGYN practices and hospitals, oh if only I knew then what I know now. But I went ahead and made an appointment with the local OBGYN team of 8 or so Dr's. None of those I felt close to. I felt like a # in an assembly at a baby factory. The waiting room visits were long, the office visits were fast, they rarely looked me in the eye and saw me as a human. Matt accompanied me to my 1st appt, the one where they thoroughly check you out, and I asked Matt to stay in the room with me.

The remainder of my pregnancy was pretty uneventful. Everything went "normal" and complication free, with the exception of the 12 weeks of morning/day sickness. I felt great and super excited and anxious as any 1st time mom. I read the general 'What to Expect' books and the faithfully obsessed over those dreaded TLC birth shows.. (ugh...) I learned my lesson and personally now despise such shows and books...

I worked full time, on my feet most of the day until a week before baby was due. I gained about 30 lbs.

We had my Ultrasound on June 11th and was super excited to find out we would be expecting a son.

On November 8th, in the middle of the night I went to the bathroom, and was panicked to see "bloody show/mucus plug" in the toilet. I did not read about this anywhere and thought something was horribly wrong. I called the Dr's office and had the service call the Dr. on call. The one woman OBGYN on the team, called me back groggy, half-asleep and angry! I told her what happened, she basically called me stupid, said what it was, yelled at me for calling, and told me to go to bed.

On November 9th, one day past my EDD, Matt went to work, a nervous soon to be Dad, but I assured him all was fine and I would call him if anything happened. However, not long after he left I was having unusual back pain most of the morning and afternoon and called my sister. She was the only person I was close to that had experienced child birth, (4 times!) someone I felt I could trust.

She thought it was a good idea that I come to her house just in case it was real labor. Contractions soon became regular and my nephew, who was maybe 10 or 11 enjoyed documenting the contraction length and intervals for me. The pain was becoming very strong in my back and I found kneeling on her stairs a comfort.
Coincidentally, the same day, at 4pm, my older nephew was departing for the air force! His LT. came to pick him up and I was sad he would be leaving right before he got to meet my baby.

Matt arrived and at about 6 pm and we decided we should probably go to the hospital. So Matt, me, my 2 nieces, and nephew and sister all climbed in her van for the 20 minute trip to Forbes hospital.

Upon arrival I did not know which entrance to use. We went in and they found me a wheel chair and the administration nurse yelled at me for not calling ahead and for using the wrong entrance, and how had I not pre-registered! (I thought I had) I already felt like a failure as a parent.

They got me to L&D and I felt like I had lost all control over what happened to me, I was whisked around and had IV's inserted and I was scared and afraid to ask more questions. They checked and found I was only at 4 cm. But they kept me.
My baby was posterior and causing insane pain and pressure on my lower back, I wanted someone to sit on my back.

As labor progressed I wanted to crawl under the hospital bed, I stared at the tiles and envisioned crawling under them...thinking this would somehow stop the pain. But the pain was not unbearable, I was toughing it out with the great support of my boyfriend and sister.

This is a bit of a blur thanks to 6 yrs and Demerol, but i believe at 11 pm, although things were going as normal, regular contractions and progressing...but Dr's and nurses decided for me I should rest, as I had been laboring all day. Had they not decided I needed to rest (which I think was for their own reason as the Dr was leaving) I think baby would have came in a few hours. Instead they told me they were just giving me a little something to take the edge off so I could relax and rest between contractions. I had to pry out of them what 'this' was, as did Matt, because we agreed we did not want meds.
It was Demerol, they kept telling me how mild it was, mild my ass, it knocked me out, but not before I felt like someone snuck me some hardcore drugs. I felt like I was hallucinating.

Whilst questioning and telling them no thanks the nurse just ignored me as she injected it into my thigh. It burned, it burned bad and made my whole leg ache, maybe she hit a muscle...this injection spot ached for weeks after his birth.

I awoke some time the next morning where they had to give me pitocin to restart the contractions the demoral had stopped. But babies hb was still strong and I was still bearing through the pain. I so badly wanted to get out of the bed and move and they laughed and said no.
The nurses became very adamant that I needed an epidural. I kindly declined many offers and became annoyed with their drug dealer style of pressuring me into it. They began using scare tactics and finally presented it to me as a now or never situation. They actually had the anisth. come to my room to tell me he was leaving the floor, last chance...I caved.

Having the epidural inserted was the worst experience. Two big nurses laid me on my side and forcefully held me in the fetal position while he prepared, he stuck me right when I was having a contraction and those nurses squeezed me so very tight so I would not move. I felt the cold sensation and went completely numb from the belly down, sweet relief and sadness overcame me at the same time. I would not feel a thing, I already felt so disconnected with my babies birth.

By 10:45am I was fully dilated and they prepared me for delivery. They had to lift my legs into the stirrups, they were like huge chunks of meat I could not feel or move, I had the shakes...I was hungry, I was thirsty and I was scared.

The Dr came in, one of the men Dr's I probably only met once, I did not know his name, he was a stranger to me. He took his time putting on all that gear, the face mask frightened me even more. Being a learning hospital, 10 or so students filed into the back of the room against the wall, pen and clipboards in hand...staring at my open legs...I felt mortified.

I argued to allow 3 family members into the room for support, I got my way and they bitched about me breaking the 2 person rule. I insisted on having Matt there, and my sister, who taped it, and my 16 yo niece, who I promised for 9 months could watch.

The Dr. made a smart ass comment about there "being a lot of hair...and it's not the babies..hahaha", asshole. how dare he. He kept telling me I could do better...he is the same ass that argued with us about choosing to not mutilate my new babies penis and the same ass that ignored our "request" to not give our baby the hep B vax....

The final stage of delivery went very fast, I pushed maybe 3 or 4 times...with about 6 people screaming at me to push, one of the things I really did not want was all the people yelling to push. I felt nothing but pressure, more of that disconnected feeling...and feeling like I was under a spotlight, oh wait, I really was.

In my birth video the Dr says 'I have to cut you' and I freak and say no and ask if he really has to, he ignores me and cuts away. The nurse mumbles I was tearing and I say I'd rather tear, again, they ignore me... (Matt was near hitting the floor at this point, to this day I cannot say the 'E' word to him)

Finally my precious baby emerged and they laid his beautiful body on my chest, he was purple and not crying, I remember telling them to make him cry, he finally let out a wail, and pinkend up, Matt and I marvelled at his gorgeous puffy face and cried together. It seemed like such a brief moment while they immediately cut the cord and whisked him away.(matt was unable to cut it as he was near passing out) After watching the video he was on my chest for 5 seconds. And I have learned since to not let them immediately cut the cord!

It killed me to hear him screaming on the other side of the room, I could not see him and just wanted to hold him! They roughed him up, cleaned him off and did the inking etc while my niece took pics and my sis tried to video it while I delivered the placenta and was being stitched.

They finally handed me by sweet little boy, 6lb 14oz and 20" long, a little peanut bundled in too many blankets...I wanted to see his body, feel his skin on mine...I wanted to feel my legs. I wanted my body to stop shaking from the drugs. But Matt and I started into his calm big eyes and cried more.

My iv was causing a lot of pain and itched, the blood pressure thing on my arm was super tight and they ignored me about it all as I complained. My leg still ached from the demerol injection. I was hungry, thirsty, exhausted and wanted nothing more than for everyone but Matt to leave the room to sit and marvel at my new baby, to breastfeed.

My sister in law arrived immediately after his birth, followed by my in laws. I watched my new baby get passed from person to person before I got to cuddle, bond and put him to my breast. They moved me to my room and after an hour I finally got to nurse and he latched like a champ. But soon after, more and more visitors took my new baby and passed him around for 2 days. I wanted everyone to go away.

The nurses were not kind. I had to argue for him to stay in my room. I had to argue to let him sleep on me. I had to argue for them to not take him or give him a pacifier or a bottle. I got little to no sleep with all the machines, announcements, people in the hallways, the constant checks on me and baby every 2 hrs through the night. The phone rang much too often. Too many visitors, although I know they meant well and wanted to meet Max asap. I wanted to get out of there and be home!

I was finally released and Matt and I and our new baby were finally in the comfort of our own home. As first time parents, caring for a baby came quite natural to us. Matt had a whole month off of work to be with us.

Not knowing at the time there was a name for the style of parenting that came naturally to us, co-cleeping, baby wearing etc, it was interesting to read about Attachment parenting when I got pregnant with #2 :)

Samuel's Birth Story

2010-02-04T09:35:00.023-05:00

(Sam, 5 hours old)

Sorry this is also a bit long and detailed :)

In May of 2005 Matt and I made the sporadic decision to transfer to the Whole Foods in Charlottesville, VA. I am not sure exactly why we thought this was the best decision for our little family. I thought it would be an easy thing to do. Thought the grass would be greener, even though it was not all that brown in Pittsburgh...

Max was 19 months old when we made the move. We said our good-byes to friends and family, who we're supportive but so sad to see us go. Matt drove the U-haul, Max and I in one car, and my good friend Jodi drove our other car and we all made the 6+ hour drive South.

A few weeks into our new apt., the place Matt went and picked out prior to our moving there, which was on a busy road and above a chain smoking blind man...I got pregnant with baby #2. Another surprise but welcomed little blessing. Like #1 I knew within days of conceiving that I was pregnant. But a dollar store test let us know for sure and we were both so excited to find out we would be having another baby!

The morning/all day sickness was horrible. The heat in VA, was record highs for that summer, the exhaust from the road outside made me so much more sick, as did the lingering smell of tobacco from the floor below.

I felt lonely, lost and miserable in this new town. I panicked at the thought of having another baby w/o friends and family close by. A month or so later, and some convincing to Matt, he asked WF to be re-relocated back to the 'Burgh. They were awesome and understanding about it. Just before we broke our lease and left after being there just 3 months, we got married by the Sheriff at the town Hall. Jodi and Max being our only "wedding" guests on a 103 degree day.
I'll save a marriage post for another day, but I always believed that piece of paper was not necessary possibly a jinx on a perfect relationship....until I needed insurance :)

I then drove home with Max in late August and stayed with my mom-in-law while Matt finished his 2 work weeks. I found our new home, a block from the apt. we lived in for 6 years and just moved out of 3 months prior. I signed the lease and Matt joined me two weeks later and we settled into the big brick 4 br duplex on the corner.

Prior to leaving VA, I knew I had to make arrangements to find a Dr back home. I knew I did not want another hospital birth and after some online searching I discovered The Midwife Center in Pittsburgh. A free standing birth center in the Strip District (in the city) that had a team of Midwives. To me this sounded completely ideal for us and I made my appt before we even left VA. My morning sickness went away after 12 weeks, just as it did with my 1st pregnancy. My mother in law joined me in going to the midwife for my 1st visit, as Matt was still in VA. She also accompanied me to the orientation and tour. She was very supportive of my choice to birth here.

At 19 weeks we went for our 1st ultrasound. After a miserable long wait in the waiting room with a crazy toddler, Matt and me with a bladder so full I was crying, we went in. After some probing around and a silent and serious US tech who made me think something was horribly wrong with my baby b/c she called in a Dr to finish.. but alas all was fine and we were told it was another boy.

Now, I will be honest here, a single tear streamed down my face when I was told this. This tear held happiness that all was well with this baby, but my husband also knew this tear held some disappointment as I was pretty open about hoping for a girl. He wiped my tear and gave me an understanding smile and kiss on my forehead.

The rest of my pregnancy went very well with no complications at all. I gained 40 lbs (started at 120 went to 160!) Although I was still quite active chasing my toddler around.

Sam's BIRTH day.

Two days past my EDD (estimated due date, same as baby #1)

5:30 am, Sunday March 12th - Woke up with with pretty strong contractions. I let Matt sleep and also tried to get more rest, but was still in denial that this was probably it.

6:30 am - Contractions increasing in pain and were getting longer and closer so I woke Matt up, who said ok, rolled over and went back to sleep :) I got out of bed and the pain hit, I was holding and pressing my face onto the walls of my bedroom, the coolness of the plaster eased my pain to a small degree. I continued to pace my room and hang on the bed...

8:30 am - I woke Matt up again telling him I needed him to get up and I think we had to call the MW. He then realized this was it and jumped out of bed.

I called and gave my info and they asked me if I wanted to labor for longer at home and I told them I had a feeling I should come, esp since the drive was about 20-30 minutes. I got dressed and went downstairs to make tea and to wake my mother who was temporarily living with us. She is not good in these situations and was pacing around me looking like she was in pain.

Waiting on Matt to get everything ready I managed to crawl under the dining room table during a contraction (since I was a kid, I found comfort in crawling under things I used to pout under our armchair :), while in labor with Max in the hospital I remember wanting to crawl under the hospital bed and seriously envisioned crawling under the floor tiles)

My mom was starting to panic, I yelled at her and asked her to go away. I believe she then tended to Max, who was 28 months old and watching TV in the living room. Most woman want their mom to comfort them during labor....we just do not have that kind of relationship.
Matt called his Mom to come stay with Max too. As much as I love my mother, she is not the best sitter...I'll save the Schizo-Mama drama for another entry...

9 am - Matt and I got in the car and headed to the parkway to get downtown. The car ride was horrible. I swore like a trucker at my poor panicky husband every time he hit a bump, I may have flipped off a few drivers who were going too slow and swore at a few innocent people who were probably headed to church. Thank goodness it was a Sunday or we would have been caught in horrible traffic as it was rush hour.

9:30 am - We pulled up outside and the midwife (Anne) and her student were there to greet us. They assisted me to the back room where my 1st instinct was to strip ALL of my clothes off. I am usually a modest person but at that point all inhibitions went out the window and I felt most comfortable naked.

(the room I had him in)

I laid on the comfy bed so they could see how far I had progressed, expecting to hear maybe 5, I was told I was already at 10cm, good thing we left when we did! They were a bit shocked I was this far along. I paced around the room and had very bad back labor, this baby, like Max, was posterior, facing the wrong way and causing horrible pressure on my back. Matt and the mw and her asst took turns massaging and creating counter-pressure on my lower back.

I decided I wanted to try the jacuzzi so they filled it up. While waiting they brought me the birthing (yoga) ball and this was my best friend, I hung over that thing while kneeling on the bed for most of my labor.

When the tub was filled I got in and I felt very hot, I think I was transitioning at this point and I could not get comfortable and wanted out. I was only in there less than 5 minutes. They helped me on the birthing stool and I felt like it was time to push.

My waters still had not fully broken, like Max I was a slow leaker, their heads prevented the bag from breaking fully. So the mw told me to lay on the bed, which I wanted to do anyways, I felt exhausted at this point and Matt was holding me up.

They doppler checked babies heartbeat every few minutes and I could see the concern in their face...his heart rate was increasing than dipping and they tried not to scare me but told me baby had to come out now. That he was stressed and the cord may be around his neck!

I felt panicked for my babies well being and got my 2nd wind. Although I did not want to deliver on my back I was beat and could not get up. It was close to 12:30 and my waters finally broke more.

This is where the pain really hit, he crowned and the ring of fire feeling set in and I screamed and yelled and felt that I may have been scaring the 1st time mom laboring in the next room, who had arrived at some point while I was there.

They did an excellent job at preventing any tears with the use of oils and warm compresses, which to me was amazing since I had so much scar tissue from the unneccessary episiotomy 2.5 years prior.

At 12:54 pm my sweet baby boy made his gentle entrance earthside. Matt was barely able to stand so the plan for him to catch the baby was out the window :) With a final push I assisted in pulling his little slimy body to my chest. He did not cry at first but just looked at me calmly with his wide eyes. After some stimulation he then let out a cry and cried pretty hard for about 20 minutes while lying on my chest.

I took off the oxygen mask, which they placed on me at some point and cried with Matt as we marveled over our precious new son...who still did not have a name!
They waited about 20 minutes to cut the cord, until it stopped pulsating and I tried to breastfeed, but he was not interested in latching on yet.

The mw gave me a very painful shot of pitocin in my leg as my bleeding was not letting up and placenta was not coming out.

After they cleaned me up they left Matt and I alone in our quaint little room with our sweet new baby.
We called our Moms and sent out texts announcing baby boy Millers arrival. After about 2 hours they came back to weigh and measure and check the baby out. Surprisingly he was 8lbs and 6oz and 20.5 inches long! I did not think he looked that big, considering my 1st was 6-14 and 20" long.

I was in baby bliss, all pain had been forgotten the moment I laid eyes onto him. I let him lay on Matts chest while I showered and just 4 hrs after delivery we decided we were ready to go home to our other baby :) I felt like wonder woman. I felt so exhausted and horrible after my 1st baby that I could not believe this euphoric baby bliss high I was on. My body felt wonderful.

(even though I look a bit exhausted here :)

The mw wanted his name to write on the chalkboard and we thought maybe Oliver, and that was what she wrote. About 5 days later we decided on Samuel Owen.

When we arrived home there were seriously a dozen people waiting, I did not want to get out of the car, but I wanted to see my big guy Max. We went in and to my dismay my 5 hr old baby was passed around to all of these people. Blood still in his hair...flashes going off, all kinds of commotion and loudness, all I wanted was for the 4 of us to be alone and lay in our big bed together as a family.

Max was excited to see us and held his baby brother with a look of pride and joy in his face.

(Big Brother Max and my mom in law)

Finally everyone left and my new baby, big boy and husband went to lay in our bed upstairs.

(Matt and Baby Sam)

Coming soon....

2010-02-02T22:38:00.002-05:00

Ok, I have wanted to create a blog for a long time...and I just keep thinking, there are soo many great mommy, crafty, photography, veg/healthy living, home/unschooling...etc blogs out there, why create another?! And how can mine ever be as good as the ones I follow!
Well I have put way too much thought and energy into it and decided why not. I know deep down I feel the need to blurt out what I think, feel, believe in and do on a daily basis in my life.
So stay tuned and in the near future I will start my blogging :)
Now, if I just knew anything about making my blog pretty :)